How can we respond to extreme suffering?

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Given the circumstances of this last week, I thought we might talk about the Lojong or mind training teachings that we studied last year.  The Lojong teachings include seven groups of 59 pithy slogans, slogans that help us see ourselves and the world from a different perspective, slogans that challenge our habitual unskillful thoughts, words and actions.   A good reference book is Pema Chodron’s entitled, Start Where You Are. 

POINT THREE: Transform Bad Circumstances into the Way of Enlightenment.

13. Be Grateful To Everyone

16. Whatever you meet unexpectedly, join with meditation

These Lojong teachings were created by a Buddhist monk named Atisha who lived about a thousand years ago.  A story is told of Atisha that he was asked to go to Tibet to teach the Dharma, and when he heard that the inhabitants of Tibet were very pleasant and easy to get along with, instead of being delighted, he was concerned that he would not have enough negative emotion to work with in his Lojong practice. So he brought along his ill-tempered Bengali servant-boy, who would criticize him incessantly and was awful to spend time with. Tibetan teachers then liked to joke that when Atisha arrived in Tibet, he realized that there was no need to bring his servant after all—Tibetans themselves could be plenty annoying.

With these teachings, we can begin by identifying WHAT MEANING ARE WE GIVING to the situations and circumstances in our lives?  It’s not just about making the best of a bad situation, but about recognizing the meaning we are giving things, and looking for the deeper learning from all the circumstances and situations in our lives.  We are meaning making machines.  If I picked up a rock and gave it to you, you could give many different meanings to that gesture and that rock.  Ronn McLane told me recently about a new machine that they had installed at Great Wolf Lodge--it was a colored rock machine.  For 75 cents, you got to put in your money in a fancy machine and receive a rock of some randomly chosen color.  I can just imagine the delight in a child's eyes, the parent thinking "it's only 75 cents", and the meaning that the color rock might create--the symbol of a childhood vacation and the fun that was had.  Or perhaps many other meanings that might be applied.  All of this, and it was just a rock.

We are choosing what the meaning is of each action we perform, and the meaning of what is done to us!

Some words or actions are extremely painful.  We try to avoid them, push them away.  Sometimes, we might even find comfort in ignorance through the practice of avoidance.  We create blind spots.  These teachings encourage us to not shut down, but to see each moment as an opportunity to wake up in the middle of our lives, to stop sleepwalking through life, regardless what is happening, regardless of how painful it might feel. 

There are lots of people in our lives:  some we enjoy being around and others we don’t.  The reality of being human on this planet is that we are inseparably interconnected to all beings:  the ones we like, the ones we don’t like, the saints, the barbarians, and everyone in between.   Most of the time, we are judging others and ourselves, comparing and contrasting whether we are better or worse, nicer or meaner, doing good or doing bad.  These thoughts lead to emotions that lead to action.  The Buddhist teachings encourage us to be aware of our thoughts and emotions, so that our actions are not simple knee-jerk reactions, but rather thoughtful responses in an effort to relieve the most suffering and create the most good. 

Preparation and presence go hand-in-hand in order to respond skillfully in life.  Be grateful for everyone, including the aspects of yourself that you don’t like, or try to avoid.  Embrace every aspect of your life and yourself and those of others as an opportunity for learning and living a better life.

The Dharma is NOT about being a victim, not about being a doormat for all to walk upon, but about being a courageous chooser.  B. Alan Wallace, a great Buddhist scholar and teacher says that the Dharma is like spiritual guerrilla warfare.  Our desire to fall back asleep is sometimes very strong, so we use these slogans to outfox our conditioned habits.  We’re studying and practicing to be courageous choosers.  We can practice being part of the transformation of life, not just ignorant bystanders of the continuous unfolding of the same old unskillful stuff.

We can see everyone as part of us.  The events of last Friday show that is true whether we wish it were so or not.  Why did it happen?  I believe those horrific acts are not about a some simple judgment made upon each person killed but it is an example of the complex karma of millions of previous actions.  So, it’s done.  Knowing what we know now, how can we reduce the likelihood of this from happening again?

It's okay to be angry. Anger is an essential part of grieving.  We can reflect upon it, we get angry, and we meditate upon the best response to this horrific situation.  We can use the anger as energy for change.  I can’t imagine what these families are going through, but each of us has known grief and suffering in our own way, and each of us can set our intention to hold the high watch for these individuals who are grieving so greatly. 

They are not just numbers but real people that we were interconnected to.  I want to read their names and reflect on their lives:

Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47 was Sandy Hook Elementary School's principal

Mary Sherlach, 56 the school psychologist

Lauren Rousseau, 30, a permanent substitute teacher

Victoria Soto, 27, a first grade teacher

Emilie Parker, 6

Emilie "was the type of person who could light up a room," her father told reporters Saturday. His oldest daughter was "bright, creative and very loving”  Emilie's "laughter was infectious," he said. The last words she said to him, "She said that she loved me and I gave her a kiss and I was out the door."

Other victims

Rachel Davino, 29; Anne Marie Murphy, 25; Charlotte, 6; Daniel, 7; Olivia, 6; Josephine, 7; Ana, 6; Dylan, 6; Madeleine, 6; Catherine, 6; Chase, 7; Jesse, 6; James, 6; Grace, 7; Anne Marie Murphy, 52; Jack, 6; Noah, 6; Caroline, 6; Jessica, 6; Avielle, 6; Benjamin, 6; Allison, 6.

Lastly, the shooter and Nancy Lanza, the mother he killed.

We are all inseparably interconnected to each other.  We may wish to sort people out into specific groups of those that we care about and those that we ignore and maybe even those that we hate.  This sorting and judgment should be seen as a dangerous undertaking.  Beyond any judgment, we are all still inseparably interconnected. All beings are worthy of attention, all beings worthy of love and compassion.  This is the tough message that we must reflect upon this morning.  How to do we push through our hatred and anger, and find the appropriate response to this horrific act.  It does no good to simply hate.  Hate is what caused the situation in the first place.

I don’t know what the best response is, but I encourage us all to ponder the possibilities.  What will relieve the most suffering?  What will create the greatest good?