Living Beautifully – 1 - Dealing with Shenpa

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Today we begin a new book series, based on Pema Chodron’s recently published book, entitled, Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change.  I think I’ve read almost all of Pema Chodron’s books, but this one seems to be the most pithy and most concise!  I found that I was underlining almost every sentence in the book!  The book takes on the realities of living in a world that is ever-changing.  I often joke that for years I was trying to get my ducks in a row so that I would finally be happy.  With the Buddhist practice, I awoke to the fact that the ducks will never be in a row, and if they do get in a row, they won’t stay there for long, and as Lisa Woolery proclaimed a few weeks ago, there isn’t even a row to get in to!  We are surrounded by messages from our families, our friends, advertising, work, that we are just not quite enough.  We need some thing or some one to make us feel safe and happy and content.  The Buddhist teachings are the whack up the side of the head that makes us realize that we will never find long-term happiness outside of ourselves.

In this book, Pema starts out emphasizing that the very nature of our existence is forever in flux.  Let’s grapple with this reality.  This is the essence of what the Buddha discovered 2500 years ago.  Most of us live with an anxiety, either subtle or full-blown, about living.  Our reptilian brains are on the lookout for saber-toothed tigers, or maybe just the potential danger of disappointments and disillusions.  So, here we are, at whatever age you happen to be, and we get this precious opportunity to face the fact that life will never be static.  Those pesky ducks will never line up.  So, what shall we do? 

The Buddhist teachings are so profoundly transformational because the philosophy allows us to take a breath and relax into the reality of constant change.  We can learn to enjoy the ride, to ride the wave of life, instead of digging in our heels or fingernails into whatever false sense of stability we might think we have found or that we might hope to be just around the next corner.

This week and in the coming three weeks, we will look at the practices that support relaxing into uncertainty, as well as three commitments we can make that enable us to not only survive but to thrive amidst the flotsam and jetsam of life’s ups and downs.  Here are the three commitments that we will discuss in detail:

• The Pratimoksha Vow:  Committing to doing our best to not harm with our actions or words or thoughts, a commitment to being good to ourselves and to each other.
• The Bodhisattva Vow:  Committing to dedicate our lives to keeping our hearts and minds open and to nurturing our compassion and wisdom with the longing to ease the suffering of the world.
• The Samaya Vow: Committing to embrace the world just as it is. Going deeper, we commit to see everything as a means by which we can awaken further.  Nothing is left out.

There’s a wonderful perspective that Pema brings to our suffering.  She says that suffering comes from constantly trying to realize our dreams of okay-ness.  It is our resistance to uncertainty that causes us suffering.  We have the power, with this great wisdom given to us, the power to let go of the struggle against the dynamic quality of life, it, we can learn to relax into it, to ride the wave, and through acceptance, we can find a profound freedom.

She also talks about the human tendency towards fundamentalism—the desire for things to be and stay a certain way at all times and in all situations.  Wouldn’t it be nice if everything was black and white, and there was a book that told you what to think and what to do, that fit every situation and every circumstance that might ever arise in life?  Oh happy day!  That would make things so much easier.  And in wishing for things to be predictable, we subconsciously find and see only that which validates our current view.  We are most often attached to our current opinion of ourselves, and that is what we see in the world!  When we quit being curious, we stop seeing any new information.  When we truly come to terms with the uniqueness of each moment, we come to terms with the fact that no book could ever cover every possible situation and circumstance.  We come to terms with the reality that we must stay open and aware and curious in order to avoid causing our own suffering. 

So, how do we begin to wake up?  Where do we start?  There is a Tibetan term called “Shenpa”, and it is used to describe that gut-level feeling, a tightening, a twist, a pushing away, from some situation--perhaps it is a person, a word, an event, a thought, that doesn’t fit with our view of ourselves and the world.  Shenpa is the canary in the coal mine that tells us something is up, that we are closing down.  In the first practice, we are encouraged to catch the Shenpa, be aware when we get triggered.  Shenpa is pre-verbal, it’s a sensation.  We can begin to notice when it arises, and instead of running away from that uncomfortable feeling, we can simply be present with it, not judging it or labeling it, but just staying with the feeling. 

The practice she describes, she calls the “one and a half minute thing”.  We can do this practice any time we feel triggered by something.  Here is the process:

“Acknowledge the feeling.  Give it your full, compassionate, even welcoming attention, and even if it’s only for a few seconds.  Drop the story line about the feeling.  This allows you to have a direct experience of it, free of interpretation.  Don’t fuel it with concepts or opinions about whether it’s good or bad.  Just be present with the sensation.  Where is it located in your body? What does it feel like? Does it remain the same?  Does it shift and change in some way?”

We can use this practice whenever we want to get in touch with the uneasiness in us that is often present.  And it can be most transformative to use in the midst of a shenpa attack!  We can learn to relax and embrace, instead of tightening and denying or lashing out, or lashing in, whatever has been our unskillful habit for dealing with the discomfort of being human.