Letting Go - Part 1

(For Podcast, click here.  For ITunes version, click here)

This morning we begin a new series of talks based on the book by Lama Surya Das, entitled, Letting Go of the Person you used to Be.  This is a beautiful written book that cuts at the heart of suffering.  The subtitle is Change, Loss and Spiritual Transformation.   Who among us has NOT experienced loss and change?  I wish that it wasn’t true, but it seems that our greatest spiritual growth often comes in the times when life seems the toughest.  We each have the opportunity amidst the sadness and fear to choose exploration versus shutting down, to choose curiosity instead of fear.  Or at least choose curiosity about fear.

In this book, we will look at several Buddhist tools for leveraging these difficult times in our lives to accelerate our spiritual transformation, to deepen our sense of serenity and peace, regardless of what is happening in our lives.  Two of the methods we’ll being with are Realism and Laughter.

Buddhism is often criticized because it begins with acknowledging that life includes suffering—what a bummer!  Can’t we just gloss off the bad stuff?  Isn’t that what American culture is all about?  We often ignore or push away that which is unpleasant and uncomfortable.  OR, sometimes we go in the other direction and wallow to the depths of despair about our situation.  “Woe is me!  This is awful!  It’ll never get better!”

So, over the next few weeks, we are going to try something a little different. First, we will explore ways to be realistic about what is happening within us and all around us.  We can, as Pema Chodron, an American Buddhist nun often says, hold our seat amidst the storms of living, and see more clearly what is happening.  See Clearly—that is a tall order.  We all have collected many experiences in our lives up to this point.  Some are valuable in guiding us forward, and others are the exact thing that is holding us back.  Byron Katie has an elegantly simple process of seeing more clearly by asking four questions:

Step 1              Is it true?

Step 2             Can you absolutely know that it's true?

Step 3              How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Step 4              Who would you be without the thought?

In Buddhism, we practice mindful awareness, striving in each moment to be fully aware of what is happening, teasing apart that which is an old unskillful habit and that which enlivens and encourages us.  Many of us seek out this practice because we feel stressed and overwhelmed.  It might seem that mindfulness is all about relaxing and letting go of that which we are stressed about.  But have you ever tried to relax and let go, only to find yourself holding on more tightly?  This is the illusory bind that our minds put us in.  In Buddhism, we are taught about the paradox of mindfulness, the paradox of practice, that to truly let go, we must first be fully aware, to be mindful is to be aware in three ways—BY not pushing away, not holding on to,and not ignoring.  We practice just being awake to what is happening in each moment.

These three instructions are the key to being fully mindful in the moment.  These practices of not pushing away, not holding on to, not ignoring enable us to become aware more fully with what is.  We start exactly where we are at, it is only from that starting point, that we can then see new possibilities in our lives.  The practice of mindfulness is the doorway to these new possibilities, new ways to see our selves and our lives and others.  By seeing more possibilities in our lives, we give ourselves the gift of a deeper, richer, fuller experience of living.  

I love a particular saying from George Santayana, which is so deeply buddhist.  “Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness. “  Albert Einstein has some wonderful quotes about seeing our selves and our lives with fresh eyes.  One quote is that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  The other quote I love is that "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." These are very Buddhist perspectives, encouraging us to see everything and everyone in our lives, including ourselves with a fresh perspective, like seeing with new eyes.

The paradox of the practice of mindful awareness is that by not pushing away, not clinging to, not ignoring, we start to see things and people and situations in our lives in new ways, and we begin to create new possibilities.  From The Power of Habit that I quoted a few weeks ago, the research indicates that 90% of what we do in any given day, we do out of habit.  On most days, most of us probably spend the majority of our time reacting in conditioned ways.  We wake up in the same way, we brush our teeth in the same way, we drink our tea or coffee in the same way, we respond to the stresses in our lives in the same way.  So, how do we wake up in the middle of our lives?

There are simple ways to try this theory out.  One way to open ourselves up is to change our routine in some way.  For example, today, when you drive or walk home, try taking a different route.  Try holding your coffee cup with the opposite hand.  Try eating with the opposite hand.  By not reacting in conditioned ways, we are actually training our brains to see ourselves and the world in new ways.   

We are creating new neural networks that enable us to create new possibilities in our lives. 

Another simple exercise that we can try is in this moment, cross your arms.  Something we all often do.  Just cross your arms in this moment.  Now, try crossing your arms in the opposite way.  There are so many ways in our lives to shake up our old way of seeing things. 

So, we can strive to see ourselves and our world realistically, with fresh eyes. 

In the teachings of Tilopa, a buddhist teacher around the tenth century, he says:

“If you strive in this endeavor, you will free yourself from the imprisonment of the endless cycle of suffering.

If you meditate in this way, you will burn away the karma of the past.

Therefore YOU are known as “The Torch of the Truth”.

Each of us can strive to not push away, not cling to, not ignore our old ways of being and see life full of new possibilities.  You are  “The Torch of the Truth”!"

Awareness' is the quintessential teaching of the Buddha--from the awareness of cool air as you breath in and then out, to the profound awareness of natural perfection. And with boundless compassion and courage, the sole purpose and activity of all the buddhas is to ring the alarm bell that brings us to this awareness."

-Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche

And in the coming weeks, we’ll also talk about the use of laughter, not taking everything so seriously.  As Lama Surya Das says, we can enlighten up!  My favorite quote on the subject is by a Buddhist Master named Longchenpa who said, “Life is not as it seems, nor is it otherwise, so we might as well burst out laughing!”

AND, for those interested, in April, we will have a special chance to meditate WITH Lama Surya at his retreat center in Austin, Texas, the weekend of April 4-7^th.  I have some information about that if you want to pick up after the meditation today.  And the Temple will be giving away one scholarship to the retreat, so email me if you want to be considered for that.

Visualization:

Ham – So (and Inner chant)

Ham = Light of Love coming int hrough the crown of your; head

So = Light of Love going out from your heart