Turning The Mind Into An Ally - 2 - The Bewildered Mind

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This morning we continue a series of talks based on the book,  Turning the Mind into an Ally, by Sakyong Mipham.  This book is a rich overview of the basic Buddhist principles, but he approaches them in new and accessible ways. I highly recommend it!

In Chapter Two, he begins the explanation of the Four Noble Truths by drawing the link between a bewildered mind and suffering.  Each of you here today are somewhere on the spectrum of suffering.  Some of you may have some serious,s obvious struggle, illness, injury or issue that you are grappling with, maybe the kind that consume your thoughts. “How can I relieve this suffering?”  Or if it is about someone dear to you, “How can I relieve their suffering?”  Our minds are designed to pose questions and look for answers.  On the other end of the spectrum, you might not feel like you’re suffering at all today, feeling at peace with all things.  Nothing to change, nothing to fix, just resting in a moment when everything is okay.  Ahhhhh.  And the rest of us….we’re somewhere in the middle.  The Buddha discovered, that this sense of suffering or dissatisfaction is often lurking in the background--we might not even be aware of it most of the time--causing us to feel a little off-centered, not satisfied, some vague sense that things are quite right, that we should be doing something, and then if we did something, then maybe sometime in the future, everything will be okay. 

It is as if we are all living out the fairy tale about Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  She goes into the Bear’s house when they are not home—first of all, what was she doing walking into a stranger’s house?  But that’s another issue,   She begins to try out chairs and porridge and beds.  She’s trying to make her external circumstances just right so that she feels happy. 

I was surprised to read that the initial telling of the tale had the main character as an old woman, who was a thief, and when discovered by the bears, she was taken to the town square and impaled on the steeple.  Somehow, along the way, that story got Disney-ized, so that the old woman became a young lovely girl, named Goldilocks, and she simply runs home and gets a strong reprimand from her mom.  The story was told about being safe and not messing with other people’s stuff!

But Goldilocks can also be a tale about the Four Noble Truths.  Number One:  life involves suffering and dissatisfaction.  We are tired and hungry or lacking in some way.  Number Two:  We often seek happiness in inherently dissatisfying ways, by craving other people’s stuff and other people’s lives—doesn’t it often seem like other people have something better going on than we do?  The grass is just a little bit greener on their side. We judge our situation, we judge our thoughts and emotions and sensations, and we often try to find relief in very unskillful ways (like Goldilocks breaking in and stealing).  We are trying to fix this feeling of something being wrong, by buying something or getting into a relationship or simply distracting ourselves with the many devices our environment has to offer.  In Buddhism, this constant cycle of grabbing at happiness and trying to avoid suffering is called Samsara, the  repetitive cycle of acting in ways caused by our ignorance about happiness.

When my family and I were in the ICU with my mom three weeks ago, there was a moment.  I was just sitting trying my best to be present and realizing that I was having this dissatisfying feeling that I ought to be “doing” something for my mom.  At that moment, I happened to look around the room and saw single one of my family members was engaged with their phones.  No one was paying attention to Mom, lying in the bed in the middle of the room.  Now, granted after three days in the hospital, it can wear anyone down, but it was as if I could feel the lure of the cellphones distracting everyone away from the extremely painful situation of watching my mom die.  I admit there was a moment I felt superior, just for that moment, that I wasn't on my phone and was trying to fully present.  A smugness arose silently inside me. 

Then, just a few nights ago, I went out to dinner with some friends and was walking home, and there was a moment when I felt an overwhelming sense of great peace, joy and happiness—what a beautiful night, the perfect weather, a great meal, good friends.  A few moments later, someone texted me, and before I knew it, I found myself lost in the distraction, completely oblivious to the beauty all around me.   Aargh! 

Perhaps we all have a little Goldilocks in us, that desire to try out other stuff to see if we can relieve this sometimes relentless feeling of suffering or dissatisfaction.

Number Three:   we have met the enemy, and it is us.  We can find a deep sense of happiness and well-being without anything, not one thing, in our outside word changing.  In the book, Sakyong says, “It’s not the place we are in that is samsaric, but our mind’s perspective of it.”   This is one of the most amazing lessons that Buddhism teaches.  Happiness can be cultivated as a positive mental state, regardless of external circumstances, regardless of whatever thoughts, emotions or sensations might arise. 

Number Four:  We can find this peace and happiness by following the Eightfold Path: Wise View, Intention, Speech, Action, Livelihood, Effort, Meditation and Concentration.  These eight practices lead one to experience more happiness in one’s life and less suffering.  It doesn’t mean that suffering and pain never arise again, but we now know that we can all, every single one of us, cultivate a sense of peace amidst the chaos of life. 

The last point made in the chapter is that most of us cling to a solid, separate, permanent sense of self, when that entity simply does not exist.  We are all this fluid, ever-changing, evolving, bundle of processes that we have come to identify as our “selves” but is really all an illusion.  You might have eaten something for breakfast or had a cup of coffee—at what point does the scrambled egg or coffee and milk cease to be them and start to be you?  We are breathing the same air right now, inhabiting the same space, very interconnected and interdependent and ever changing in this very moment.  Clinging to the illusion of a solid, separate, permanent self causes suffering.  This practice has proven that to be true for thousands of years.

When we learn to ride the waves of being, when we become a little less identified with our thoughts, our emotions and our sensations, an experience of peace ultimately arises.  Contentment, courage and curiosity arise naturally when we  loosen our grip on needing everything to be a certain way.  Don’t be so sure of who or what you are, and who or what anyone else is.  I encourage you to practice being curious like a young child—what is this experience in this moment?  What if you were experiencing this activity/event/person/feeling/thought/sensation for the very first time.  We can bring a fresh perspective to each moment, and find that peace is there waiting for us to discover it.

  

Come to Rest

“You do not need to change or fix whatever you are trying to escape from. Just recognize the patterns of escape.  Experience both the dynamics of the impulse to escape and the possibility of not following that impulse, of tolerating the impulse with no story, no strategy, and no preferred outcome. Simply be here, doing nothing. Give up every effort to escape, and recognize what truly holds you. Surrender and come to rest in the peace of your being.”

~ from: The Diamond in Your Pocket, by Gangaji