Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Being Peace - 1 - Why We Suffer

(For Podcast, click here.  For ITunes version, click here.)  


Today we begin our book series on Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh.  I love the title of his first chapter, “Suffering is not enough.”  Doesn’t it sometime seem like suffering is the objective of life?  People we love get sick. People we love die. We get sick.  We die.  Accidents and injuries occur.  Doesn’t that sound like a whole lot of suffering? 

Thich Nhat Hanh, or Thay as he is often called, is challenging us that we can choose to suffer or not suffer.  There is pain in life for sure, but only we can decide how to respond to it.  He begins by likening our situation in life to watching a TV with a thousand plus channels, in fact most of us can watch a TV with a thousand plus channels…and a phone and a computer and advertising and all the other ways that this contemporary life as evolved into helping us not be fully present.  Make no mistake, you are choosing which channel to “watch”, you are choosing which channel you are “seeing”.  Your experience is just reflecting what channel, what filter you are putting on every thought, every emotion, every action that you have, see and do. 

I think sometimes Thay’s teachings are misinterpreted as being too simplistic -- “oh, just smile, and everything will be okay.”  He makes an important statement early in Chapter One, to drive home the deeper meaning of these teachings.  He says,
“Life is both dreadful and wonderful.  To practice meditation is to be in touch with both aspects.”

Through the practice of mindfulness, we are not just blocking out the icky parts and focused only on the nice parts.  Instead, we practice choosing more consciously our response to each situation that arises. 

I love the analogy of a TV with many stations.  Thay encourages us that if we turn to the Buddha channel, we are the Buddha.  How we show up in life impacts greatly how we experience life.  At first, it might feel kind of fake—I don’t really feel like smiling, Mr. Buddhist Monk.  Thank you very much for your sugary sweet message.  Clearly you don’t understand MY life…

But….there is a middle way, as the Buddha taught.  We can see clearly what is happening, then we start to choose a different way of responding.  Being loving and kind to everyone might feel weird at first.  Dropping our storyline and just being present might feel really really weird.  Who are we if we don’t cling to our past experiences???  My encouragement to you is to keep trying, keep imagining what it would feel like to be loving and kind, to be compassionate, to be a Buddha.  Eventually imagining turns into experiencing.

Thay talks about a woman who could only see her sorrow.  He suggested that she smile at her sorrow because she is not just her sorrow.  We are much more than our past or even our present.  We are in a constant state of becoming. We are building the future in this moment, and in this moment we have an opportunity to experience ourselves and others and life on a much grander scale.  Why do we play small?  Why do we want to bury our heads in the grinding overwhelm of external and internal distractions?  Sometime life seems too hard to do, like it’s too much.  I know that feeling well.  The Buddhist practices are designed to encourage us to start with simply imagining the possibility that there is another way of being. Slowly, we then become better equipped to weather the inevitable storms that arise in life, more gracefully, more peacefully, more lovingly.  I have found this to be a radically better way of being. 

THE DREAM OF CONSTANT OKAYNESS (From Pema Chodron, “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change”)
“It’s not impermanence per se, or even knowing we’re going to die, that is the cause of our suffering, the Buddha taught. Rather, it’s our resistance to the fundamental uncertainty of our situation. Our discomfort arises from all of our efforts to put ground under our feet, to realize our dream of constant okayness. When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment, or awakening to our true nature, to our fundamental goodness. Another word for that is freedom—freedom from struggling against the fundamental ambiguity of being human.”

TNH suggests we try this simple visualization:

Breathing in, I calm my body
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.

Whoa, is he really asking us to imagine that every moment is a wonderful moment?  Some moments seem pretty sucky to me. But this is our stretch objective—to find the wonderfulness in each moment.  As many of you know, my mom has been living with me for the last six weeks, and has dementia.  And in that time, there were a lot of moments that didn’t feel wonderful, but I got an opportunity see how I was choosing how to respond.  My mom was going to be who she was going to be, regardless of my thoughts or emotions or desires.  So, I got to choose how I was going to show up.  I was far from perfect, but in hindsight, I can see that she was my practice—what a powerful tool our togetherness was for me to practice these teachings, not just giving it lip service, but deeply experiencing the power of the practice. 

One morning, during breakfast, as we sat across from each other eating, out of the blue, she began to recall the first time she met my dad (they were madly in love for 56 years).  I just sat in amazement as she recalled every detail of that very first time she saw him, and said she knew that he was the one she would marry.  She described the way he stood at the bottom of the dormitory stairs, his hat in his hand, wearing a handsome gray wool coat over his suit, remembering that is was a Valentine’s Day dance that they would attend.  She smiled as she remembered the butterflies in her stomach, and that she wished that night would never end.  Amidst the awfulness of dementia, there are these moments of clarity.  I just sat and let it pour over me like a soothing balm.  Then, the moment past, and she was back to the worry and anxiety that often fills her head.  For a few moments, there was simply wonderment and awe.  I cherish those moments even more due to their increasing rarity.

Here’s what I discovered:  when I was able to respond with loving-kindness, regardless of what was happening, my own experience was greatly enhanced.  Amidst tears, and worries and anxieties and fears and relentless questions, hers and my own, when I responded with loving-kindness and compassion, my own experience, and at times it seems that my mom’s experience as well, became more positive.  I began to realize that I sometimes could change the energy of the situation by focusing on peace and well-being for us both.   Who do you have in your life that is helping you practice these teachings by being difficult?  I suggest that the hardest parts of our life are in fact our greatest teachers.  There is a pony to be found in any pile of poop. 

Each moment, we can practice responding in a peaceful way, this is how we ultimately “be peace”.  This is how we spread peace. 
Breathing in, I calm my body
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.

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