Sympathetic Joy

This morning, the last Sunday before Christmas, seems like the perfect time to talk about joy, or more specifically sympathetic joy, which is one of the boundless states of being that we practice in Buddhism, along with compassion, loving-kindness and equanimity. So what’s this joy thing all about? Many people initially reading about Buddhism, think it’s a practice just focused on alleviating suffering, since that is what’s talked about in the four Noble Truths. But Buddhist teachings are actually filled with the great joy that sustain us in these practices.

Life, though full of woe, holds also sources of happiness and joy, unknown to most. Let us teach people to seek and to find real joy within themselves and to rejoice with the joy of others! Let us teach them to unfold their joy to ever sublimer heights! Noble and sublime joy is not foreign to the Teaching of the Buddha. Wrongly, the Buddha’s Teaching is sometimes considered to be a doctrine diffusing melancholy. Far from it: the Dharma leads step by step to an ever purer and loftier happiness and joy.

–Nyanaponika Thera.

So, how do we, in these lives that we are living today, cultivating a state of joy? In the teachings on the four boundless qualities, there are certain practices and specifics that are given about this simple experience called Joy. Think about times in your life when you’ve experienced joy? What brought it on? What did it feel like? How did it taste? Recall a Specific time in your past when you experienced joy. Imagine now how the sensation of joy felt in your body? What thoughts went through your mind when you were experiencing it and what thoughts come to mind now as you recall it?

In Buddhism, each the boundless states are intertwined with our interconnectivity with others. And so it is with Joy, in fact, it’s taught as sympathetic joy. Can you imagine a time in the past when you felt true joy for the good fortune of another? The practice of cultivating sympathetic joy is anchored in proactively hoping for, encouraging, and delighting in the joy of others, and the realization that their joy can be shared.

Now, conceptually, this sounds all sweet and good—how easy it should be to relish and encourage the joy of others, but let’s look at some more specific examples. Imagine that at your job, you and another person are up for a promotion, and they get it instead of you. How does that feel? Do we feel okay only it we judge the other person to be worthy of the promotion? And if we think they didn’t deserve it, admittedly doesn’t that diminish or even destroy any sense of joy that we might have for them? That would NOT be sympathetic joy.

Even further, thinking about a person with whom you have difficulty being with, imagine that they received some news about something that brings them great joy. How would you react to that? Is there judging? Is there perhaps even anger or resentment? This would NOT be sympathetic joy.

The teaching of sympathetic joy begins with a simple exercise much like our loving-kindness practice, where we imagine being truly joyful for the fortunate events that happen to others. This practice zeros in on whether we’re still holding onto a sense of a solid, separate self. For if we are all one, like waves on the ocean, then isn’t someone else’s joy, our joy as well? Now, granted, some individuals might find joy in hurtful actions, and this practice is not condoning or encouraging people to be joyful for unskillful situations, but there are plenty of opportunities for encouraging and appreciating others’ joy that is skillful and supportive.

Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book entitled “old Path, White Clouds”, describes Sympathetic Joy in the following way:

The definition is: being happy with someone's fortune/happiness. Sympathetic joy here refers to the potential of bliss and happiness of all sentient beings, as they can all become Buddhas. The near enemy is hypocrisy or affectation. The opposite is jealousy, when one cannot accept the happiness of others. A result which one needs to avoid is: spaced-out bliss, which can easily turn into laziness. Note: sympathetic joy is a great antidote to depression for oneself as well, but this should not be the main goal. By rejoicing in others' progress on the spiritual path, one can actually share in their positive karma. Sympathetic joy is an unselfish, very positive mental attitude which is beneficial for oneself and others. In this case, it also refers specifically to rejoicing in the enlightenment of others.

And Lama Surya Das, from Awakening the Buddha Within, describes it in this way:

“We rejoice in the good fortune of all. We rejoice in the virtuous good deeds and accomplishments of others. We put an end to covetouseness and jealousy. We forgive and accept others, and put an end to feelings of ill will and anger. Blessings to the world, and Blessings to ourselves.”

So, throughout the buddhist teachings, we are encouraged to practice Sympathetic Joy, this noble state of boundless being. As with all these teachings, this joy may or may not feel natural at first. We acknowledge that we really don’t feel joy when, as an example, our best friend gets married for the fourth time to someone who we don’t approve of. Or that our parent gets married to a person we detest or worse don’t trust. Imagine the actions that will result from stewing in these feelings of hatred and resentment. Once again, we are not talking about idiotic joy, where we unskillfully support others in unskillful actions just because we’re Buddhists and we’re supposed to love everyone. An important distinction is that the practice of these boundless states is done while being fully present in each moment, and as we know, in each moment, all the information we need for right action is available to us.

So, what if your mom or your child does something that brings them joy but seems unskillful? FIRST, check your own motivation—why are you judging it as unskillful? Be clear about your own motives and desires. SECOND, if there is cause for concern, how might you express that in a skillful way? THIRD, how could we live our life, proactively looking for the potential for experiencing joy, the joy that is present in each and every moment, regardless of our external circumstances. As we have learned from other teachings, joy comes not from superficial events or mercurial emotions, but from the innate joy that exists within each and every one of us, a joy that does not require external things to be a certain way. For example, in the first quote that I gave you this morning, let’s take a look at Nyanaponika Thera. This is a man that was born Siegmund Feniger in 1901, born Jewish in Germany, and after his dad died, and Hitler came to power, he fled with his mother to Vienna, and he himself went on to Sri Lanka, in order to avoid the gas chambers,. He studied Theravadan Buddhism and was ordained as a novice monk. But once World War II started, solely because he was German, he was imprisoned throughout the war. But, he never lost his connection to the teachings, never lost his innate knowing of the truth. He went on to translate hundreds of the Buddha’s teachings at a time with the Western world had very few translations to work with. He never gave up. So, let’s listen to his quote again, within the context of his life.

Life, though full of woe, holds also sources of happiness and joy, unknown to most. Let us teach people to seek and to find real joy within themselves and to rejoice with the joy of others! Let us teach them to unfold their joy to ever sublimer heights! Noble and sublime joy is not foreign to the Teaching of the Buddha. Wrongly, the Buddha’s Teaching is sometimes considered to be a doctrine diffusing melancholy. Far from it: the Dharma leads step by step to an ever purer and loftier happiness.

So, as we spend these next few days with family and friends, look upon all activities as an opportunity to practice Sympathetic Joy, to seek out, to proactively explore each moment for the joy that lies within each situation. Find your own innate joy, regardless of your external circumstances, if only to rejoice in this wonderful gift of life that each of us gets each day that we awaken.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice!

And we can end with the prayer for all beings to experience these boundless qualities:

May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness

May all beings remain free from suffering and the cause of suffering.

May all beings remain unseparated from the sacred joy and happiness that is totally free from sorrow.

May all beings come to rest in the boundless and all-inclusive equanimity that is beyond attachment and aversion.