Sangha practice as a way to find and live your passion

           As the final part of our series on Finding and Living Your Passion, I want to end on an important note, which is Sangha, the noble spiritual community, this group of like-minded seekers that support each other on the path.  We talked a few weeks ago about asking for help.  Today, I want to talk about how offering help is a way that you can better find and live your own passion.   Karl sent me this fascinating article about the scientific research on how our need for group support and encouragement is actually written in our DNA. 

Sangha is a Sanskrit and Pali word meaning community with a common goal, It is part of the Triple Gem, an important component of the Buddhist teachings.  The Triple Gem is The Buddha and The Dharma and The Sangha—those tools that we can use to support our awakening and the awakening of others. 

Historically, the term Sangha was specifically about the group of monks and nuns that lived and practiced together, but many Buddhist teachers today have expanded the description to include us lay people, people who are spiritual seekers, having a spiritual yearning.  Together, we can support and encourage each other in growing spiritually. Anyone who is here today can be that person.  AND Sangha can be more than even a spiritual community.  Sangha can truly represent all those people in your life who you love and support, and who love and support you.

Buddhism in general might seem like a solitary practice, all this meditation in the silence and retreats, and there is certainly a component that is about training your mind, but we train our mind to be of service to ourselves AND others.  The Buddhist practice is about how to be in the world but not of it.  To be around others in a loving and kind way, but not getting caught up in the drama.

Anybody know anybody who loves drama?   I’m sure each of us can bring to mind those people in our lives, maybe at times even ourselves, when creating conflict and turmoil seems to be the highest priority. 

But the idea of Sangha is more than just CREATING A NO DRAMA ZONE.  It’s about reaching out, encouraging others, having compassion, wise action towards others. 

Lama Surya Das likens the encouragement that we give as creating our own immortality—the love and support that you give us lives on well beyond your life.  As part of this teaching on Sangha, we can include the fourth step on the eightfold path, which is Right or Wise action.  We start to see our action towards others are part of our practice

There are two apects of the Sangha teachings that I want to talk about.  First, who do you spend your time with?  And  Second, how do you spend your time with them.

The first aspect is WHO do we spend our time with is a complicated question.  We spent months on the Lojong teachings which focused on making every situation our practice, including those with difficult people in our lives.  So, it might have seemed that we’re supposed to love everyone equally, and we are.  But that doesn’t mean we have to spend all our time with them.  The teaching on Sangha points out that there is great value in finding and associating with people who are on a similar path.  So, how do we find the balance?  Who are those people in your life that support and encourage you?  How can you spend more time with them?  And who are those people that drain your energy and test your patience?  And how can you either spend less time with them or find a way to create a reasonable boundary?

Deciding who we want to spend our time with is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives.  For myself, having been married a few times, I can attest to the fact that making a wrong decision can have lasting consequences.  BUT, no matter where you are in relationships, you have this point in time, this exact moment, to decide who you want to spend time and work towards increasing your “Sangha” time. 

The second aspect is HOW you spend your times with others.  In Buddhism, we are encouraged to practice generosity and compassion with others.  Think for a moment about HOW you spend time with those important people in your life. 

There are many ways to help others, but here’s three ways that can be food for thought. We can help others succeed by:

1.  Acknowledge and praise others’ strengths and accomplishments  --  Catch someone doing something good;  I’ve found that if I genuinely admire someone’s actions or even beautiful jewelry or a will-put-together outfit, I can say it to them, and that can be the start of a loving and kind relationship.  It truly can be that simple. It doesn’t have to wait until they cure cancer.  It’s those daily little things that we notice that can add up to a big difference.  And a component of this practice can be to ignore the little ways that people screw up.  My daughter was visiting me last week, and after she left, I went to put something in the microwave, only to find that she had nuked something with BBQ sauce that splattered the microwave.  I was irritated to no end.  I was going to tell her how inconsiderate this was, I was going to read her the riot act.  Luckily, she was in a time zone where she hadn’t awaken yet, so by the time I called her, I had calmed down, and realized that in the big scheme of things, she’s a really good person, loving and kind, and I was probably never going to be as clean as I’d like her to be.  So, I let it go, and felt so much better for doing so. 

2. Create supportive environments for learning and positive experiences.  How can you create an environment where those around you are having worthwhile experiences? As parents, we have many opportunities to do so.  Seeing our children as beautiful manifestations of being to which we are contributing to their unfolding.  Sometimes is might feel like our children or our partners our family or friends may get in the way of our meditation and mindfulness, but I encourage us all to see them as opportunities for awakening.  Encouraging our family and friends on whatever path they walk. 

3.     Empower others through being a role model.  And lastly, being a role model.  How do our actions teach others?  This is a powerful part of that fourth step of the eightfold path.  We do the right thing not because we have to but because it’s best for us AND others.  Actions speak louder than words.    

Yale psychology professor Paul Bloom did some groundbreaking research, when he and his team found that infants in their first year of life demonstrate aspects of an innate sense of right and wrong, good and bad, even fair and unfair. When shown a puppet climbing a mountain, either helped or hindered by a second puppet, the babies oriented toward the helpful puppet. They were able to make an evaluative social judgment, in a sense a moral response.  This is a critical teaching in the Buddhist practice – we are innate good.  We might not always feel that way or act that way, but it’s in our DNA.

In Tibetan Buddhism, there’s a lovely saying, that only the snow lion can become enlightened alone.  For us humans, we need others to help us awaken. 

Asking for Help and Looking for Good

As part of our series on Finding and Living Your Passion, this last Sunday I talked about asking for help.  When we think about finding and living our passion, it might seem like a solitary process.  I’m going to figure this out; I’m going to make this happen.   But in the Buddhist teachings, there’s a clear understanding that we’re inseparably interconnected to all beings, and that we can and should rely on the Sangha, this group of like-minded people, to support us in finding and living our passion.  Groups and like-minded friends can be very helpful--I’m sure we can all relate to how much easier it is to meditate in a group than it is when we’re at home alone by ourselves.

So, why wouldn’t we rely on others for finding and living our passion if it’s so dang helpful?  The simple answer may be, “Because sometimes people don’t seem so helpful.”  In fact, sometimes it might seem, “It would be a whole lot easier if everyone would just quit getting in my way!”  There can be a subtle or not-so-subtle idea that the people in our lives are obstacles to our happiness.

Asking for help is a critical element in living passionately, so our struggle in asking for help is worth examining.  First, I want to talk about good and evil.  Second, I want to talk about God and no God.

Are some people evil?

Many religions identify that there is good and evil in the world.  And this makes things nice and tidy, but it also keeps us from looking deeper, from trying to discover causes. Once something has been identified as evil, no more is there a need to explain it, only a need to fight it.

I recently read the story about Jaycee Dugard and her tormentors.  This husband and wife might be deemed “evil” by some, and certainly their actions were despicable.  But, labeling them as evil denies their humanity.  Amid the horror of the story, the man who abused her rationalized that her abuse was saving other young girls from being abused—twisted, demented logic, but perhaps a window into his humanity.  The wife of the tormentor, who could not have children of her own, made Jaycee pretend that she was the older sister, and pretending that the children were those of the wife.  When Jaycee wanted some closure and went to the prison where the man’s wife was being held, the woman actually asked Jaycee if the children missed her.  These acts are unconscionable and worthy of punishment, but thinking of the people involved as separate from us, as not human, does no service to providing peace in the world or in our own lives.

Sorting people into separate divisions such as good or evil and categories is very un-Buddhist. The Buddha's teaching of the Four Noble Truths tells us that suffering is rooted in the delusion of an isolated, separate self.

If only there were evil people somewhere, insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?

—Alexander Solzhenitsyn

God as an external force

From Barbara O”Brien:  “Some religions teach that evil is a force outside ourselves that seduces us into sin. This force is sometimes thought to be generated by Satan or various demons. The faithful are encouraged to seek strength outside themselves to fight evil, by looking to God.

The Buddha's teaching could not be more different --

"By oneself, indeed, is evil done; by oneself is one defiled. By oneself is evil left undone; by oneself, indeed, is one purified. Purity and impurity depend on oneself. No one purifies another." (Dhammapada, chapter 12, verse 165)

Buddhism teaches us that evil is something we create, not something we are or some outside force that infects us.

In Buddhism there are evil actions, which we should seek to block, preventing harm from coming to anyone; but there is no absolute, unchangeable force of evil in the world.  By contrast, Buddhism focuses on the three unwholesome roots of evil, also known as the three poisons: craving, aversion, and ignorance. In place of the struggle between good and evil, Buddhism emphasizes ignorance and enlightenment. The basic problem is one of self-knowledge: do we really understand what motivates us?”

This second point is the difference between believing or trusting in an external God and believing and trusting in ourselves.  In the book, When Things Fall apart, Pema Chodron describes this desire to look outside ourselves as wishing for a babysitter, someone who is taking care of us, watching over us, punishing us when we do wrong, keeping us in line.     The simple word God is loaded with personal meanings and extrapolations, but to generalize, it is often understood as this external force that is acting like a babysitter to us.

There's proof that having confidence in one's own abilities to successfully respond to any situation provides greater happiness, and that is certainly part of the Buddhist teachings.  However, there is additional value in feeling the greater connection with all beings, including Bodhisattvas who are specifically described as having the purpose to help other beings become enlightened. There are many Mahayana and Vajrayana visualizations about the infinite deities that exist in timeless time and are here to "help" us.  So whether there is a God or no God in Buddhism starts to look a lot murkier than many would describe.

We each can look out our own definition and experience of the word God, to see if it seems more like a babysitter or like a principle of good.  And we can try out seeing "me" as greater than this individual body.  We can draw a broader line about who "I" am, in recognition of the inseparability of all beings.  We can see it as if we are all one being, using the analogy that if a hand might become sick, is still supported by the rest of the body.   There are many Buddhist teachings about the happiness that comes from acting for the greater good.

As the next step in your journey towards living passionately in each moment, try catching someone doing something good—something kind, considerate, supportive, loving.  Look for the good.  It’s amazing how much more you find when that is what you are seeking.

Vajrasattva (Forgiveness and Purification) Practice

Vajrasattva  –   Name given a Bodhisattva (enlightened being) who expanded upon Mahayana Buddhism to include everything in meditation (Vajrayana) as well as the discovery of several rituals, visualizations, and yogas to assist in the achievement of forgiveness and fresh starts, which can lead to enlightenment.

Vajrasattva Purification (from Ven. Thubten Chodron’s Pearl of Wisdom, Book II)

1.   Begin by visualize Vajrasattva above and in front of you

2.   Begin by reciting the refuge vows three times:

In Buddha, Dharma and Sangha

We go for refuge until fully awakened

Through the power of  Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Enthusiastic Effort, Concentration and Wisdom

For the sake of all beings, may we realize and demonstrate our innate goodness.

3.   The Power of Regret – reflect, with deep regret, the specific negativities that you have created, and ask for Vajrasattva’s help in guiding you from this misery.

4.   The Power of Remedial Action – a process to purify all past experiences.  While reciting the 100 syllable mantra  21 times or the shorten version “om vajrasattva hum” 108 times, visualize the flow of “light and nectar” from Vajrasattva down through the crown of your head and fill every cell of your body and mind with infinite bliss.

5.   Purification of Body – Your disturbing attitudes and negativities take the form of black ink.  Flushed out by the light and nectar, they leave your body through the lower openings, like filthy liquid flowing down a drainpipe.  Feel completely empty of these problems; they no longer exist. 

6.   Purification of Speech - …take the form of liquid tar. ..flow out the upper openings of your body…

7.   Purification of the Mind - …take the form of darkness in your heart…the darkness completely disappears…

8.   Simultaneous Purification – Do the three above visualizations simultaneously.  Feel completely free of these obscurations.

9.   The Power of the Promise – To create a fresh start, make the following promise to Vajrasattva, “I vow that I will do no negative action from now on.”  Vajrasattva is extremely pleased and says, “My spiritual child of the essence, all your negativities, obscurations and degenerated vows have been completely purified.”

With delight Vajrasattva melts into light and dissolves into you.  Your body, speech and mind become inseparably one with Vajrasattva’s holy body, speech and mind. 

10. Dedication – “Due to this merit, may I soon attain the enlightened state of Vajrasattva, that I may be able to liberate all beings from their suffering.  May the precious Buddha Nature arise and grow.  May it have no decline, but increase forever more.”

Find and Live Your Passion

Last week, we talked about the importance of clearly knowing what we value, what our intention in life is, and matching those value/intentions to where we spend our time, based on the Right Intention step on the Eightfold Path.  

This last Sunday, I talked about "getting into the full flow of living".  If we are to be passionate about living, we have to take the risk of being in the flow, which includes all the messiness of life. Oftentimes, we spend endless energy regretting or hanging on to something in the past or fearing something in the future. When we decide to make friends with our past (Jack Kornfield calls it the moment we give up trying to create a better past) and when we make friends with our fear, when we are finally honest with ourselves about the truth, we free up enormous amounts of energy that can be focused on being more present and passionate in each moment.  In each mindful moment, we will find our passion for living.

Now, think forward to this next week.  What one or two small things could you change that will help you make friends with the past and the fears and start to get into the flow?  Here's some ideas I threw out:

• Find some time each day to do just one thing at a time.  Washing dishes, doing laundry, taking a bath--without the cell phone, TV or all the other intrusions that sometime complicate our lives.
• Periodically, be aware of breathing.  Instead of worrying whether we're meditating enough, we can start with finding a couple of times each day to be aware of breathing.  Focus on your next three breaths and nothing else.  It takes less than two minutes and can be life changing as we slowly do it more and more each day.  
• Be slow to respond.  Whatever the trigger might be--an angry co-worker, a crying child, some person cutting you off in traffic--take 60 seconds to decide how to respond in a new way, how to respond in a way that blesses you and the other person.

One person decided that they were going to look for an opportunity to sincerely compliment another person every day.  It can be that simple.

That's if for this week!  Next week, we'll be talking about finding the power to change.

Find and Live Your Passion

What is your unique gift to the world? What could you do that would bring you and others the greatest joy? How can you live your passion? 

Buddhism is sometimes misunderstood as being anti-passion.  "If we're passionate about something, aren't we clinging to it, and isn't clinging 'bad'?"   I offer the distinction that clinging is the false passion for short-term, sensual experiences.  True passion is the intersection between what we do best and enjoy the most and what creates the greatest good.

Buddhism is all about finding your true passion.  We learn to be mindful and meditate by being passionate about waking up.  Being mindful enables us to explore our unique abilities, our gift to the world, and then find new ways to use our gifts for the greatest good.

Join me at 9 am on Sunday, June 12th, as we explore together this process of finding and living our true passion.  Over the next several Sundays, we will explore the following topics:

1. - Intention versus Goal 
2. - Being in the Flow
3. - Finding the Power to Change
4. - Creating Timeless Time
5. - Curiosity as a Lifelong Journey

When not to be patient

I’m continuing the series of talks about the Lojong or Mind Training teachings. This group of 59 pithy slogans is a great place to start your practice or to deepen your practice, wherever you are at.  In fact, a good reference book is Pema Chodron’s entitled, Start Where You Are.  These teachings are about opening our heart, getting comfortable with the power we have to transform the way we relate to  ourselves and others. 

This week, we’ll talk about a slogan in the Seventh Point, about more specific guidelines to follow.

Seven: The Guidelines for Mind Training

42.  Whichever of the two occurs, be patient.

In this slogan, what are the two?  It’s talking about the happy or the sad, wonderful/awful, joyful/wretched.   However, it’s really about the infinite spectrum of human experience.  Whether you’re having an experience of great joy, or an experience of great sadness, or whether you having an experience anywhere in the between, this slogan is encouraging us to be patient.  The message?  Be patient!

Haven’t we heard our whole lives?  Just be patient! 

I would offer a completely different perspective on this slogan.  Don’t be patient! 

What are you waiting for?  What are you waiting for before you make being mindful the most important thing in your life?  How many times have we thought, “I don’t have time to be mindful today!”  The scientific proof is that these Buddhist practices make every moment a good moment.  It’s not about being Buddhist, it’s about being mindful.  It’s about being aware. And it’s been scientifically proven that being mindful makes everything else in life more fulfilling.  Start there!  Start here!  Right now.  Let’s not wait until the end of this meditation, let’s not wait until the end of this talk.  Now.  Let’s each of us make mindfulness the priority in our lives right now, and now and now and now.  Let go of your pre-conceived notions about what’s happening and just focus on being in each moment.

What are you waiting for?  Think about those things in life that you’re think are going to make you happy.   “I’ll be happy when I get a new job,” or “I’ll be happy when I finish school,” or “I’ll be happy when I get into a relationship,” or “I’ll be happy when I get out of a relationship.”  What is your personal thing that you’re waiting for?  What are you telling yourself that you’re waiting for and then you’ll be happy?

Now stop and decided to be happy in this very moment.  We can cultivate a sense of happiness in each and every moment.  When we do the loving-kindness meditation at the end of the meditation, there’s the part where we say, “May I be happy, May I be peaceful”  Note that it doesn’t have any caveats or future time frame.  It’s not may I be happy when this certain thing happen,  It’s "may I be happy".  Now.  Period.   This has been scientifically proven to increase a person's perceived level of happiness.  Train your brain to rest in a state of happiness.

To clarify, this isn’t about giving up all goals in our lives.  We can still plan to go to school or change jobs or whatever it is that we think we need or want to do, but don’t miss what’s happening in this moment right now because that’s where all the information is that we need to live. 

We have to learn to love the process or we’re never going to be happy. 

I was thinking the other day about checking something off my bucket list, you know, those things that you want to do before you die.  And I had this mental image of checking it off the list.  I was feeling anxious about the details of making it happen and had this thought about how good it will feel to check it off, and in that moment I woke up, and I laughed at myself.  What good is a completed check list when I’m dead?????  Will they put the completed list in my coffin and proclaim me a success?  Who cares?  Doing something on your bucket list is about enjoying the process.  I lost sight of that for a moment.  It’s crazy.

We don’t’ have to wait for life to happen.  It’s happening.  This it.  Right now.

As most of you know, Unity Temple and the Temple Buddhist Center are all about supporting and encouraging each person to live a joyfully passionate life, doing what we love, and often I talk with people who aren’t sure what their passion is.  They know what it’s not!  That is usually easier to figure out.  But sometimes it’s difficult to see where we want to go.  I would advocate that being mindful in each moment is the VERY BEST WAY to discover your passion.  When you’re fully aware in a moment where your heart is singing, when you feel like you’re in love with living, in that moment, you’ll find your passion.  Passion isn’t something that we can contemplate intellectually or assess or analyze.  We’ve got to live it to know it. 

Another important aspect of passion is that we don’t have know the endgame. Passion isn’t about having a specific goal.  It’s about experiencing joy in as many moments as possible.  Just follow your passion wherever it leads you.  You don’t have to know the whole journey, you just have to see the next step.  And passions can morph and change over time.  Nobody says you have to pick a passion and stick with it.  When we are fully present in the moment, we’ll know what to do.  It is as simple as that. 

Okay, now that I’ve completed denigrated patience, I will cut patience some slack.  The one piece of patience we might need is when we don’t get it quite right.  Knowing the truth, that we should make mindfulness a priority, that being present is about living,  doesn’t’mean we’re always going to be right here, right now.  We CAN be patient when we’re not consistent.  And just keep trying….dont’ give up.  It’s so worth it.

In her book, Pema Chodron has a specifically Buddhist definition of patience, which is:

Patience means allowing things to unfold at their own speed rather than jumping in with our habitual response to either pleasure or pain. 

We can have gentleness/patience with ourselves when we don’t get it right.  And we can have patience with each other when others aren’t getting it quite right.

So instead of the slogan,  "whichever of the two occurs, be patient", I offer something a little different to remind us of this teaching, “this too shall pass”. This can be our purpose!  I use it when things are awful, and I need to just hang in a little longer. AND I also use it when things are wonderful, to make sure that I fully appreciate those most joyful moments in life. 

Helen Keller was apparently a bit of a Buddhist herself.  She said:

“Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

 So I offer today, that the most worthy of purposes, is to be fully present.  This too shall pass…

Living with Grief, a dharma talk by John Corbaley

Here's the excellent dharma talk that John Corbaley gave this last Sunday on dealing with living with grief.  Thanks John!

A couple of weeks ago, The Hospice Foundation of America sponsored an annual conference titled “Living with Grief.”  The program considered issues of spirituality and end-of-life care, discussing the differences and relationship between spirituality and religion with special attention to spirituality during illness, death and grieving process. Unity Temple hosted this event here in the Charles Fillmore Chapel. About a hundred people, mostly hospice staff, social workers, and hospital chaplains attended the afternoon seminar.

The meeting was split between a two hour national panel of experts that was broadcast via DVD onto a large screen at the back here,  and a local panel for discussion and fielding questions from the audience. This local panel was comprised of pastors, ministers, chaplains, rabbis--and me. I’m not exactly sure  why I was asked to be a part of the local panel--I suppose because my training allowed me to provide some useful information on matters pertaining to Buddhist practices.

Anyway, the national panel of participants represented some really amazing talent and wisdom on end-of-life issues--professors of gerontology and social work from major academic institutions. They discussed things like spiritual assessment, empowerment and life review.

All the participants to this conference were given a copy of the book Living with Grief: Spirituality and End-of-Life Care. This is an excellent book covering end-of-life issues from the perspective of many different religions. One chapter dealt with Buddhist views on end-of-life care. It was written by Betty Kramer, one of the national panelists who spoke that day. She is a professor of social work from the University of Wisconsin. She is also a long time practitioner of the Buddhist path. She did an excellent job of presenting her views in a clear and understandable way.

Explaining end-of-life issues from a Buddhist perspective was not a particularly easy task. She cited research which shows that there are at least 31 different forms of Buddhism practiced in the United States today, each with distinct features and cultural practices. She offered this advice to those caring for the dying person:

“Listen deeply to ascertain the individual’s wishes and preferences...If they have a guru or lama, it will be especially important to consult with these spiritual authorities for their instruction regarding the most appropriate care....For those who belong to a spiritual community, they could also offer valuable expertise in providing care, support, and reciting special prayers and mantras (p. 213).”

She concludes by saying:

“Buddhists practice for death over the course of their life, seeking to cultivate virtuous states of mind and abandon harmful states of mind so they may be better prepared to hold a virtuous state of mind at the time of death. Buddhists do this by deliberately cultivating awareness of the certainty of death, the preciousness of life, and the uncertainty of the timing of death to support their commitments to make spiritual progress (p. 216)”

One of the critical issues at this conference was counter-transference. This is a ten-dollar word which means how the “stuff” of the caregiver gets in the way of doing the work of the person going through the dying process.  The national panel moderator, Frank Sesno, confronted two of the panelists during the discussion, Betty Kramer, and Martha Rutland, and said, “OK, Betty you’re the Buddhist patient, and Martha, you’re the Christian pastor, how do you counsel Betty?” The upshot, after some discomfort on both sides, was basically that the pastor’s job was to listen, to identify needs, if any, and meet those needs once they were identified.

At the live panel, the issue of counter-transference really never came up. There was an over-arching sense of courtesy that didn’t allow anything uncomfortable to occur. I think if we had gotten to know each other more beforehand, we might have had the space to allow more productive controversy to come up and make the discussion more practical.

What was very interesting to me in this book was the chapter on dealing with atheists. Marilyn Smith-Stoner wrote an amazing chapter on the raw edge of hospice work in this country today. The raw edge is this: In a society which is predominantly Christian the current demographics can produce the potential of unwanted preaching about God and salvation.

She feels that even though there is a chaplain on the palliative care team in organizations caring for those at the end-of-life, the social worker should be the primary team member addressing the spiritual needs if it is an atheist going through this process. The chaplain will be able to offer support to religious family members of the dying person, but the social worker is better prepared to, “help patients identify the meaning in their own lives, affirm or repair their connection to family members, and assist with life completion tasks (p. 226).”

Marilyn commented that these tasks often take the form of interventions reaffirming life accomplishments, offering and giving forgiveness, life review, rejoicing in good deeds, and connection with the natural world to provide experience with pets, plants, and the outdoors that can all possess meaning for someone with an atheist world view.

She provides this benediction for a funeral service from a funeral guidebook for atheists:

“We now come to the final moment of the physical existence of X, with respect, honor, affection, regard and love. His passion and intelligence we commit to our memories. His humanity and caring we commit to our hearts. His body we commit to be burned and returned to the cycles of nature he understood so well. “Earth to earth, dust to dust, ashes to ashes (p. 228).”

This view cleanly and clearly presents a perspective which honors the individual, provides a recognition of the worth of that person, and the esteem in which his memory is held by the attendees. I think it would honor any person without favoring a particular religious viewpoint.

Something I said during the panel discussion regarding Buddhism was that in the United States today, 75% of Buddhists are converts. This often means that in a similar way to atheists, family members may not be the best resources for providing information about end-of-life practices. The most informed people may be friends who share the spiritual path rather than family members who may be supportive, but have little actual information on these matters.

This is something for us all to think about. Who would we want contacted in this situation, and what exactly would our wishes be? What observances, rituals, or practices would we want to occur if we were incapacitated and unable to tell anyone? Who would we want present, and what would we want them to do?

I would like to end now with a favorite quote of mine. It is from a translation of the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I think it would bring me peace when that time comes. I have placed a copy of it alongside my Durable Power of Attorney papers, living will, and the obituary I wrote for myself as an exercise some years ago. It goes like this:

My friend,

Now is the moment of death.

The time has come for you to start out.

You are going home.

Oh, nobly Born,

Now is the moment.

Before you is mind, open and wide as space,

Simple, without center or circumference.

Now is the moment of death.

Your mind in this moment is total transparency;

No color, no substance, emptiness.

Sparkling, pure and vibrant,

A mass of light

Not stopped by any obstacle.

It has neither beginning nor end.

Go toward the light.

Merge with it.

Merge with the light.

Death has happened.

It happens to everyone.

Merge with the clear white light.

Don’t long for what’s finished.

You can’t stay here anymore.

Death has happened.

It happens to everyone.

In this crucial moment,

Don’t be afraid.

Whatever appears,

Recognize as the form of your own thoughts.

Please don’t be afraid of your own radiance.

You no longer have a physical body.

Death has happened.

So nothing can hurt you.

You can’t die again.

Don’t be afraid.

Merge with the light. Merge. Merge.

You’ve wandered so long

In this muddy swamp.

If you continue to see

What is transparent

What shimmers, as solid

You will wander further yet.

Your mind itself is only an idea.

It has never been anything more.

You hear only echoes,

You see only dreams.

Cities are mirages.

The mountains are like the moon reflected in water,

Waves of your own mind.

This mind, shimmering, transparent,

Without beginning,

Without obstacle,

Is like water poured into water,

Water poured into water.

References:

Doka, Kenneth J. and Tucci, Amy S, eds. Spirituality and End-of-life Care, Hospice Foundation of America, Washington, DC. 2011.

Van Itallie, Jean-Claude. The Tibetan Book of the Dead for Reading Aloud. North Atlantic Books, Berkley, California, 1998.

n      John Corbaley, M.S., M.A.