Basics of Buddhism - 4 - The Four Boundless Qualities

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"Compassion and love, sympathetic joy and equanimity are not mere luxuries. 

As the source both of inner and external peace, 
they are fundamental to the continued survival of our species."
                                                                -His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama

The Buddha taught his son, Rahula, to cultivate these four attitudes and actions to find deep peace.  They are called The Four Immeasurables, Boundless Qualities, The Four Sublime States, which are LOVE, COMPASSION, SYMPATHETIC JOY and EQUANIMITY,

The short prayer practice goes like this:

May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness,

May all beings be free from suffering and the cause of suffering

May all beings have sympathetic joy which is free from suffering

May all beings come to rest in the great equanimity which is beyond attachment or aversion to friend, enemy or stranger.

We start to say this prayer about everyone being happy and peaceful, and sometimes we don’t feel very happy or peaceful ourselves.  Just sit with that reaction.  Feel it completely, then go back to the practice of visualizing feeling loving and kind.  This practice is not to whitewash over longstanding emotions.  RATHER, it is to uproot those old habitual emotions, see them for what they are, and replace them with kinder and more productive ways of viewing the world. 

(From Sharon Salzberg) Brahma-Viharas is a Pali word (original language of the Buddha) meaning “heavenly abode” or “best home.” The Buddha taught that practicing these four qualities leads to the “liberation of the heart which is love.”

• Loving-kindness is both friendship and also gentle, like a gentle rain that falls indiscriminately upon everything. Loving-kindness practice is a steady, unconditional sense of connection that touches all beings without exception, including ourselves. The Buddha first taught it as an antidote to fear.
• Compassion is our caring human response to suffering.  A compassionate heart is non-judgmental and recognizes all suffering—our own and that of others—as deserving of tenderness.  Compassion is combined with wisdom to create right action.
• Sympathetic Joy is the realization that others’ happiness is inseparable from our own. We rejoice in the joy of others and are not threatened by another’s success.
• Equanimity is the spacious stillness of mind that provides the ground for the boundless nature of the other three qualities. This radiant calm enables us to ride the waves of our experience without getting lost in our reactions.

05:32 PM ET

A Buddhist guide to Valentine's Day

Opinion by Janet Nima Taylor, special to CNN

(CNN) - Valentine’s Day can conjure up the whole spectrum of human emotion, from the ecstasy of new love to the intense pain of loneliness.

It seems the day reeks of the expectation that we need a perfect relationship in order to be happy. But what do we really want?

Some of you might know that the Buddha left his wife and young child to pursue enlightenment, so maybe he’s not the best person to give advice about your love life. On the other hand, his teachings on love, relationships and suffering have a lot to say about our harried modern lives.

The Buddha’s first teaching,  known as the Four Noble Truths,  was about the connection between expectations and suffering.

He taught that life includes suffering because we seek happiness in inherently dissatisfying ways. If things are going great, we think they'll never change. (They always do.) If things are going poorly, we think it's because the world has failed us.

In short, we often expect others to make us happy. When they don’t live up to our expectations, we suffer.

While loving another person and being loved are some of life’s greatest joys, it can be painful when you think your happiness is another person’s responsibility. Valentine’s Day feeds suffering when it becomes about expecting anyone else, whether it's your spouse or an attractive stranger on a train, to satisfy your desires.

Instead, Buddhists learn to cultivate positive mental states, regardless of their external circumstances, and February 14 can be the perfect day to practice cultivating happiness and love, regardless of whether your boyfriend just proposed to you or dumped you, or even if you haven’t had a relationship since the Ice Age.

It’s all about letting go of longing and taking charge of our own happiness. Right now, in this moment, imagine what it feels like to experience love and happiness and joy.

You have the power of your imagination to create the experience without anything changing in the external world. When we set our intention to be happy, we no longer require the world to meet any preconceived notion about what we need to be happy.

Quit waiting for the perfect mate or piece of jewelry, and take charge of your own positive experience. An added bonus: When we become happier and more inspired, we attract more happiness all around us.

One last thought: Try radiating love toward everyone (or at least send out some loving kindness), regardless of whether they make you happy.

At the very least it makes you feel better, and it might even get you a date for next Valentine’s Day.

Janet Nima Taylor is an American Buddhist nun based in Kansas City and the author "Buddhism for Non-Buddhists," and "Meditation for Non-Meditators." The views expressed in this column belong to Taylor. 

Basics of Buddhism - 4 - The Three Jewels and Three Components of Meditation

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I got a great question this week, "How does just sitting quietly transform our lives? The answer fits perfectly with our topic this week for the basics.  How do we incorporate these teachings into everyday life?  Here's a recap of what is covered on the podcast:

The Three Jewels:

• Buddha (ROLE MODELS): The Buddha became a role model for his followers to emulate.  Find someone who inspires you and study their lives.
• Dharma (STUDY):  People before us have figure out how to awaken and were kind enough to write or video or talk about how this practice works.  
• Sangha (PRACTICE/SUPPORT):  Joining together with like-minded individuals and committing to practice and support each other on our spiritual journey. 

From The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (it's a great book, a little business-y in his approach, but the research is flawless and matches the Buddha's findings). 

Here's how we respond in unskillful ways:

1. Trigger
2. Rationalizing thoughts
3. Unskillful Response
4. Short-term positive payoff (relieving the urge to eat, drink, smoke, etc.)
5. Reinforcement of the habit (back to step 1)

To change our behavior, we can use the practices that the Buddha and his followers used 2500 years ago and are now scientifically validated:

• Prepare through meditation and specific motivation
• Trigger arises
• Create a gap (through breathing or other awareness tools, see below)
• Choose a more skillful response
• Changing our habits initially feels uncomfortable, so create a healthy alternative payoff (cup of tea, walk, read, etc.)
• New habit formed 

Three aspects of meditation:

·   C  Concentration:  This practice trains your mind to concentrate on one object (your thoughts, your sensations, a word or other external item like a candle, etc.). 

·   A Natural Awareness: This method retrains your experience of “you” and the world by going beyond any conceptual thought.  In its various forms, it strengthens awareness of “aliveness”.  What does it feel like to be alive in this moment?  Strengthening the ability to be aware enables you to experience that “aliveness” beyond the usual “noise” of thoughts, emotions, sensations or situations.  This natural state is non-conceptual.  In its more advanced state, the knowing and the knower are no longer separated.

·   P Positive Imagery: Research shows that practicing positive mental states, like loving-kindness and compassion, enables you to more often and more naturally experience those states in everyday life, just like the athlete who visualizes their successful performance, including every sensation, every emotion, every thought. For this practice, guided meditations can be a helpful tool.  While visualizing and imaging, thoughts may arise that are the exact opposite, like “I’m not lovable.”  While we imagine what it would be like if we are lovable, we can lightly, ever so gently, reflect on these conflicting thoughts.  “Why do I feel unlovable?” See what else arises.  Then, return to imagining the loving or peaceful experience.  In Positive Imagery, we gently balance imagining the positive mental state with reflecting on any conflicting thoughts or emotions that arise.  Early on, it is helpful to be very specific about what positive motivation will inspire you.

Awareness tools:  Here are some practical ideas on how to integrate these methods into each moment of each day:

·   Phone calls:  Each time the phone rings, take one deep aware breath before you answer and one more after you hang up.  How wonderful to have meditation reminder so close at hand!  Be aware of how phone calls impact your thoughts, feelings and sensations.

·   Red lights or standing in line:  Instead of letting irritation arise while you’re driving or waiting in line, imagine using that delay as an opportunity to be aware and breathe deeply, aware of internal sensations, emotions thoughts and externally, aware of the people and circumstances around you.  

·   A wristband:  Wearing something like those simple plastic colored bracelets or even a rubber band can be a visual reminder to take a few deep mindful breaths throughout the day.  My teacher has a red one with the humorous saying on it, “Meditate as fast as you can!”

·   Sticky notes:  Place a sticky note wherever triggers might arise (e.g. the front of the refrigerator to ask, "Am I really hungry?" or "Breathe three times")

·   Motivating pictures/words:  Have your cellphone pop up a picture or words that remind you of why you want to be transformed.  (e.g. pictures of kids--"I want to be a great parent, so I am committed to stop screaming at them...")

 “Every breathing moment of our lives presents us with the possibility of awakening to wisdom or getting mired in fear. Every action, every thought we generate gives us an opportunity to discover our true selves. We alone can choose.”–Ajahn Sumano Bhikkhu with Emily Popp, from Meeting the Monkey Halfway

Basics of Buddhism - 3 - The Eightfold Path

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Based on the translations found in Awakening the Buddha Within, these eight practices are:

1.      Wise View: Seeing things as they truly are, not through the filters of our past experiences.

2.      Wise Intentions: The Buddha emphasized, "As we think, so we become." Changing our intentions changes the way we see and experience the world.

3.      Wise Speech: Speaking in a way that supports us and others on their spiritual path.

4.      Wise Action: Acting in ways that are wise and compassionate.

5.      Wise Livelihood: Working in a way that supports oneself and others on their spiritual journey.

6.      Wise Effort: Having a passion for enlightenment.

7.      Wise Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness by being fully present in each moment.

8.      Wise Concentration: Practicing meditation to train our minds.

These eight practices are designed to invigorate our daily lives with compassionate awareness, honesty, and curiosity. These practices are usually translated as a “path”, but in the original teachings, they were described more like a wheel with eight spokes or an eight-limbed concurrent process. It's not necessary to start at the first step and end at the last, but rather to incorporate each as the situation arises.

For me, wise implies what is most skillful—in other words, what does the most good and the least harm.

The Eightfold Path can be broken down into three sections: wisdom, ethics, and meditation. Let's look at these three separately.

Wisdom:

The first two steps are part of the wisdom training: wise view and wise intention. We all have a certain view of the world. We may hang on to the view that our parents told us, or we may have come up with our own perspectives through our life experiences. If I were to ask you, "How do you describe the world?" what would you say? What would your parents have said? Is it a scary place? A difficult place? A wonderful place? An unfair place? A beautiful place? We often view the world from our past experiences and the vision that others have ingrained in us.

Wise intention is how we decide what to do. What are your intentions in your life? What do you value? If you could describe your values in three words, what would they be? Now, think about your thoughts, words, and actions this last week. How well did those match your values that you just described? The Buddhist path is designed to help us live our values. The first step is being clear about what we value, then putting those values into practice every day.

Ethics:

Ethics include the next three steps of wise speech, wise livelihood and wise action. 

Wise speech is about being more careful with how we respond with words (internally or verbally, via e-mail or text, etc.). We can learn to create a gap between stimulus and response by asking ourselves these five questions: "Is it true?" "Is it helpful?" "Is it inspiring?" "Is it necessary?" "Is it kind?" They neatly form the acronym THINK. Answering these five questions may cut out about 75 percent of what we say to ourselves and to others!

Wise action is about acting in ways that encourage and inspire. With greater awareness, we create more options for how to respond to any stimulus. Habit and past experience are not the only ways to choose how to act. Wise action can come from a place of reflection and intention for good. What action will ease suffering? What action will create the most good?

Wise livelihood can sometimes be thought of as limited to only a few jobs that really "do" any good. Instead, wise livelihood includes not only what you do to make a living but also how you do it. How do you show up for work? How do you interact with your coworkers? We can practice working in a way that supports ourselves and others on their spiritual journey.

Meditation:

Lastly, we have the meditation training of wise effort, wise mindfulness, and wise concentration.

Wise effort is about having a passion for awakening. It often feels easier to just do what we have been doing, even if it causes us suffering—there is usually some short-term payoff that makes us forget about the pain down the road. Conditioning and habits sometimes lead us in the wrong direction. The practice of wise effort encourages us to reach within and find that passion for happiness and, as the Dalai Lama proclaims, to "never give up!" Dig deep within you to find the power, strength, and inspiration to change—it is in there! We all have it—no one is left out. In the coming weeks, there will be moments when an old way of thinking will arise, a craving to go back to the old ways; it will at times seem far easier to go back than to practice these darn teachings. But! Within each of us is an amazing ability to change. Find that motivation now so you'll have it at your fingertips when the going gets tough.

Wise mindfulness and wise concentration are such a big deal that we'll save those for next time...