Letting go - 6 - Mindlessness

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This morning we continue a series of talks based on the book by Lama Surya Das, entitled, Letting Go of the Person you Used to Be.  The Eighth chapter is entitled “Mindful and Wise”.  Ahh, if we had just all been mindful every moment up until this moment, there wouldn’t be this person that we used to be that we are suddenly waking up and wondering,  “how on earth did I get here?”  So, oddly, today I thought we could talk about the realities of life within the context of the fact that most of us, okay at least I can say for me, have had moments, minutes, months or even years where I either sleep walked through my life or responded in old conditioned ways that caused me to find myself in a situation that no longer matched my sense of who I truly am, or at least who or what my intention is to be.  I’m hoping that some of you can relate to this cautionary tale I’m about to share.

The Buddhist teachings are training us to be in the moment; my Buddhist teacher encourages us to NOW ourselves, and these practices can be so wonderfully helpful.  AND, I know for me, when I began this journey of mindfulness, the first thing that happened is I awoke to all the past mistakes I’d made, one of whom I was living with at that very moment!  Awakening to our true nature , then creating a life built on the foundation of mindfulness, often requires a re-assessment of thoughts and decisions that we have had in the past and that we are now living with in the present. 

We first awaken and ask, “How do I create for myself a mindfully aware life, with the starting point being today, perhaps in the middle of a life that I may have unintentionally created?”  I have found this to be a profoundly difficult question for myself, one without a quick fix or answer.

The Buddha was asked what makes reality so difficult to see?  He replied in this way, “It is ignorance which smothers, and it is heedlessness and greed which makes reality invisible.  The hunger of desire pollutes and obscures the world, and the great source of fear is the pain of suffering.”  When asked the next question of how we can we make reality visible? The Buddha replied simply, “Mindful awareness”.

There’s a lot to digest in that small passage.  First, what makes reality so difficult to see?  The Buddha describe the three poisons: ignorance, craving and aversion.  We can look at how each of these conditioned responses may cause us to live on auto-pilot and result in us ending up where we didn’t mean to go. 

In order to drive this point home, I’m going to simply share one example from my own life that sadly includes all three of these poisons.  When my daughter was young, I was overwhelmed by being a single mom.  Aversion to not having enough money and being alone and scared drove me to seek a partner, seeking outside of myself someone who could make me feel safe and cared for.  Now, it’s lovely to find someone who cherishes you and cares for you, but the distinction in the Buddhist teachings is that it is in fact mindless to think that someone else can solely provide a sense of safety and security for us if we can’t experience it from within.  It would be so lovely if that were true, and it’s nice to find someone to be in your life who wants to take care of you, BUT…the Big Buddhist But…is that if we are not able to create that sense of safety and security within ourselves, no one else is going to quite do a good enough job.  

My fear of suffering caused me to choose someone who I thought offered the most security and safety, for myself and for my daughter.  The ironic part of this story is that this person who I chose, ended up losing his job twice and started a business that failed so badly that he was sued for millions of dollars.  When I mindlessly tried to avoid the pain of insecurity and fear of my finances by finding someone else to provide that for me, what I got was the pain of insecurity and fear of finances.  I will tell you the truth—the irony of this outcome almost (almost...) caused me to laugh out loud, each time I went to our mailbox and found another letter about someone suing us for some additional large sum of money.  So, I bare my past to you, and encourage you to consider how you might have some aversion or fear that is driving mindless thoughts, words, actions.  What are those fears and anxieties that are mindlessly leading you in a direction you do not want to go?

Second, we can look at the poison of craving.  During this particularly difficult period in my life, I hit the trifecta of poisons!  Not only was I fearful of suffering, I was craving the “good life”.  I had grown up in a financially struggling home—we always had food on the table and clothes to wear, but my parents struggled to make ends meet.  When I graduated from high school and went on to college, I craved the best that life had to offer .  I was born just after the generation that wanted lots of free love and peace.  My generation wanted money and Mercedes!  What fun!  Lavish trips, luxury cars, hoity-toity houses—Not that there is anything wrong with these items in and of themselves.  In the Buddha’s time, he often counseled kings and businessmen about bringing mindfulness to each and every decision they made.  Being in a position of power can create an opportunity to do great good, as long as craving and greed are left out of the process!  

There is a common misunderstanding about Buddhism--that desire in and of itself is bad.  The teachings on this point are clear—desire is not what gets us into situations of mindlessness—it is the craving for a certain outcome, the need for a specific result, the inability to live without, certain things, people and activities.  Reflect for yourself and your own life. What do you desire?  And what are you craving?  What is it that you think you can’t live without?

For me, I craved being the perfect couple in the perfect house with the perfect jobs and the perfect children.  Anyone who has ever been in a relationship or had a child or even knows a child, knows that these expectations were a recipe for disaster.  And it wasn’t the kind of disaster that happened overnight.  It was the kind of disaster that slowly unfolded day after day, week after week, year after year.  Until 15 years later, when I had returned to my Buddhist practice and begun to awaken again to living in each moment, I realized that I was way down a rabbit hole that was not my desired location, not where I had hoped to be when I was 18 and thinking about how I wanted my life to turn out.

The third poison is ignorance.  Yes, my craving and aversion contributed to my life of misery.  But, ignorance, that good old ignorance, was a big contributor as well.  Had I not seen the warning signs in myself and my partner?  Had he changed into someone else right before my very eyes?  I might be able to feel some justification about my suffering if that was the case, but sadly nope.  I chose to ignore the reality of the situation early on, the reality of my own dysfunctional behavior and that of my partner.  I learned that two dysfunctional people do not somehow magically make one function person  J

I slowly awoke to the fact that I was no longer the person I used to be, and was in a relationship that was badly in need of work.  We tried going to counseling but it was clear that each of us was now going in a very different direction.  In my situation, based on being fully, mindfully aware, I came to the conclusion that it couldn’t be fixed.  But, here was this person next to me, who I had sold a bill of goods to, who wanted those things that I had once wanted.  It was I who was changing, who saw myself and the world differently.  Did he “deserve” to be harmed by my new perspective?  The answer is clearly “no”, but the reality was that I could no longer continue to live up to my part of the old bargain.

I had to do the most difficult part of this entire process—I had to hurt another person to get honest with myself, to change my course of direction, to step into the person that I knew I was becoming.  And for that, I am deeply saddened and sorry.  I ask that person to forgive me for what I put them through.  Regardless of whose fault it was, it was still a painful situation to undo.

Letting go of the person you used to be ain’t easy.  When we become mindfully aware, we will more clearly see the damage of our past thoughts, words and actions.  You might find yourself at a crossroads that you didn’t want to face.  The “getting honest with yourself and others” can be a painful process and yet still the most profound and humbling thing I still endeavor to do every day.

The truth is that when I created a life of mindful awareness, a wisdom did arise within me, the wisdom to see who and what I truly was, and what and who I wanted in my life.  And I found a relationship that became the love of my life.  I offer these encouraging words ONLY because I totally and completely screwed up every relationship in my life until I found these Buddhist teachings, and then I found love and profound peace and deep meaningful friendships.  And most days I still fall asleep and must re-awaken again and again.  But, I want so much to offer encouragement and support to each and every one of you.  I jokingly say, “Heck if I can do it, anyone can!” 

Letting go - 5 - Asking for help and offering help

(For Podcast, click here.  For ITunes version, click here)

This morning we continue a series of talks based on the book by Lama Surya Das, entitled, Letting Go of the Person you Used to Be.  The sixth chapter is entitled, Healing the World, Healing ourselves.  This morning we will explore the amazing curative powers of no longer seeing ourselves as separate from the world and others, but by recognizing that we are inseparably interconnected and by reaching out and supporting others, we naturally uplift and heal ourselves.  In times of personal crisis, reaching out, asking for help, or giving help to others, can be a recipe for healing.  The Buddha often talked about the Buddhist practice as medicine, medicine for the what ails us at the depths of our being.

Lama Surya Das also clarifies this whole idea of letting got.

“Letting go means letting come and go, letting be.”

We sometime get stuck in this sense of wanting to unstick ourselves from that which troubles us, like trying to remove our hand from the flypaper of our emotions.  Instead, these practices are teaching us to be less sticky ourselves.  We think it is the emotion that is sticky, but rather it is our own mind causes the reaction of being stuck.  So, what can we do to cleanse our minds and spirits of this sticky mess of conditioned habits and unskillful thoughts, emotions and actions?  Today we will talk about two specific practices that have been practiced for a millenia or more.  The first is serving others.  In the midst of our own sorrow, when we reach to serve others, to inspire and support them, our own sorrow and sadness is often lessened.

I watched the movie, “Lincoln” yesterday and was profoundly moved by the depth of commitment that Abraham Lincoln had to have in order to pass the 13^th amendment to abolish slavery.  The entire movie shows a man possessed by an inner wisdom, a grander view, a broader perspective on the human condition, and his ability to improve the conditions for many human beings.  Granted, the 13^th amendment do not completely abolish the atrocities committed on African-Americans or other minorities, but it was a start.  It was a beginning.  And it began with a few men recognizing that in the Declaration of Independence when it said “all men are created equal.”  Okay, at the time, the idea of giving women equal powers was unthinkable!  But, baby steps…baby steps…

What if we lived our lives that are beings were created equal?  There was a great speech on the floor of the House of Representatives where one man gave a speech that “all men deserved to be treated equally under the law.”  Another man that was opposed to the amendment said, “Dare you say that all beings are equal?????”  And the speaker replied something like, “Well, you, sir, are a nincompoop an idiot, but even with your lack of intellect, you too deserve to be treated equally under the law.”  I loved that!  It was very Buddhist in its perspective (not the calling someone a nincompoop!) in that we are each unique and special beings, but we each deserve to be treated fairly. 

In Mahayana Buddhism, which was an expansion of the Buddha’s original teachings that began around 100 CE, the explicit commitment to reach out and help other being become enlightened, to awaken, was given a high priority.  There began a second step beyond the Refuge Vows, to commit to what was called the Bodhisattva Vows.  The word, Bodhisattva, is Sanskrit. Bodhi means awakened, and sattva means existence.  But together, the term is used as a designation of anyone who, motivated by great compassion, has generated bodhicitta (which means awakened heart-mind), which is a spontaneous wish to all beings to awaken, to become enlightened.  With an open heart and mind, we practice wishing for and helping others relieve suffering and become aware and awake the joy and depth of being present that is possible for each and every one of us. 

Here is an example of the specific vows that are taken when one decides to practice this act of generosity and compassion for all beings.

Sentient beings are numberless, I vow to liberate them.

Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to transcend them.

Dharma teachings are boundless, I vow to master them.

The Buddha's enlightened way is unsurpassable; I vow to embody it.

For the ultimate benefit of all beings without exception,

Throughout this and all my lifetimes,

I dedicate myself to the practice and realization of enlightenment

Until all beings together reach that goal.

The second practice that is offered in the book is the visualization practice of the Medicine Buddha.  I’ve included a picture of a traditional Medicine Buddha with the handout today.  But, as always, I’m trying to figure out how to Westernize this practice in a way that makes more sense for our culture and background. Imagining a Blue Buddha above you may not by your way of following this practice, but let’s get at the core of the teaching and see how we might modify it so that the impact is the same.  So, some of you like the tradition understand, and others prefer to updated version, so I will try to give a little of both.

The Medicine Buddha visualization is designed to create a healing of all sentient beings.  But we are encouraged to first heal ourselves, then we are able to let this healing energy radiate out to heal others.  It’s interesting, the Medicine Buddha visualization is quite similar to the healing visualization that one of Unity’s co-founders, Myrtle Filmore, did for herself in the late 1880’s, most likely without any personal knowledge of Buddhism or this particular practice.  That is what leads me to believe that it is a universal idea that we can visualization health and  healing, and create an energy of wholeness that can be shared with others.

Today, I’ll modify a version of this visualization as taught by Thrangu Rinpoche, who is a Tibetan teacher who was born and raised in Tibet and now lives in Nepal and is responsible for creating several large monasteries in India and throughout the world.  Here is a version of his teachings on the Medicine Buddha Visualization:

"We begin by practicing this visualization to benefit our own bodies, with the motivation of bodhicitta to the wish to benefit all beings. In order to be effective in benefiting other beings, we are practicing the Medicine Buddha in attain states of mental and physical health or balance, not merely for our own benefit, but for the benefit of others as well."

"The primary technique in the meditation consists of imagining yourself to be the Medicine Buddha, conceiving of yourself as the Medicine Buddha. If this image doesn’t resonate with you, then choose another one—someone or some being that exudes healing energy along with loving-kindness and compassion.  By replacing the thought of yourself as yourself with the thought of yourself as the Medicine Buddha, you gradually counteract and remove the fixation on your personal self. And as that fixation is reduced, our mental afflictions begin to dissipate, which causes us to experience greater and greater well-being in both body and mind."

Visualizing the Medicine Buddha or your own image as being present in front of you, life up your heart to them and ask for help, and by doing so you receive a blessing, which benefits you in your heart and in your mind and in your body. In the Tibetan tradition, we regard the blessing and the power and the qualities of this being in front and above us as also being innate, as being within us, as innately who we are.

It is through regarding yourself as the Buddha that afflictions are gradually eradicated and positive qualities gradually revealed. The primary technique of visualization is to visualize ourselves as the Buddha, because the potential to transcend our problems is innate rather than external to us."

"We supplement the visualization of ourselves as the Buddha by imagining all the wisdom and healing energy within us and all around us. Sometimes we visualize the Buddha in front of us, separate from ourselves, thinking that rays of light from the Buddha’s heart engulfs and pervades us, blessing us. And sometimes we visualize that rays of light, which embody the blessing of the Buddha within us, beaming out to all beings, removing their obstacles, increasing their longevity, wisdom, and so on."

"The visualization continues with a request for help from the Medicine Buddha and all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas past, present and future,  to invite the awareness of and to receive the blessings of the wisdom and healing of all.

The Medicine Buddha prayer is:

You are endowed with an oceanic treasury of qualities and merit;

By the blessing of your inconceivable compassion

You calm the suffering and torment of all beings.

I ask for your help, love and compassion.

You may either look at the picture of the Medicine Buddha or just create a loving and compassion image in your mind.

Here is a description of the the Medicine Buddha

He has two arms. His right hand in the mudra (gesture) of supreme generosity holds an arura, a type of Tibetan medicine. His left hand in meditation mudra holds a begging bowl.

His right hand is extended, palm outward, over his right knee in the gesture called supreme generosity. In it he holds the arura, or myrobalan, fruit. This plant represents all the best medicines. The position of his right hand and the arura which he holds represent the eradication of suffering, especially the suffering of sickness, using the means of relative truth. In Buddhism, sickness is treated with prayers and with medicine.  We pray and ask for help from others and help ourselves.  The giving of these methods is represented by the gesture of the Medicine Buddha’s right hand.

His left hand rests in his lap, palm upward, in the gesture of meditative stability or meditation, which represents the eradication of sickness and suffering through the realization of absolute truth.  We imagine the possibility of feeling contentment or peace in this moment, just as the Buddha demonstrated this contentment and peace for us.   Therefore, to indicate the need for contentment, in his left hand he holds a begging bowl.

It is most important to visualize yourself as the Medicine Buddha. We can use this mental imagery to feel the love and support of all those around us, and to send love and support to all beings as well.

Visualize yourself as the Medicine Buddha because your fundamental nature— what you truly are— is Buddha nature. Buddha nature is essentially the potential to attain awakening. At some point in the future you will attain the same awakening or Buddhahood as the Medicine Buddha himself. By visualizing yourself as the Medicine Buddha, you are assuming the appearance of what fundamentally you are even now and what you will be upon your awakening. It is to acknowledge this truth that you assume the aspect of the body, speech, and mind of the Medicine Buddha.

If you can visualize clearly, it is best to do all of this very slowly and gradually. While you continue to say the mantra, you think that rays of light emerge from the self-visualization, go to the front visualization, and then from the front visualization outwards to the pure realms, proceeding gradually and slowly. Especially when the blessings of body, speech, and mind rain down upon and dissolve into you, you can do the visualizations in sequence:

1.      first, visualizing the blessings of body raining down, without being in any kind of a hurry and so quite distinctly; and

2.      then visualizing the blessings of speech and

3.      then the blessings of mind. If you find that the visualization is extremely unclear, if you wish, you can do it all at once. But if you do it gradually and slowly, you will find that you will get a much stronger sense of the blessings actually entering into you. By taking your time with the visualization, you will develop real confidence, a real feeling of the blessings entering into you.

So if it is an illness or pain in the head, visualize a small Medicine Buddha in the head; .... Visualize the Medicine Buddha in that place, and think that from this small but vivid form of the Medicine Buddha rays of light are emitted. These rays of light are not simply light, which is dry, but liquid light having a quality of ambrosia. This luminous ambrosia or liquid light actually cleanses and removes the sickness and pain— whatever it is. You can do this not only for yourself, by visualizing the Medicine Buddha in the appropriate part of your own body, but you can do it for others as well by visualizing the Medicine Buddha in the appropriate part of their body or bodies. The radiation of rays of light of ambrosia and so on is the same.

This can be applied not only to physical sickness but to mental problems as well. If you want to get rid of a particular type of anxiety or stress or depression or fear or any other kind of unpleasant mental experience, you can visualize the Medicine Buddha seated above the top of your head and think in the same way as before that luminous ambrosia or liquid light emerges from his body, filling your body and cleansing you of any problem, whatever it is.  (For more information on Thrangu Rinpoche's teachings on the Medicine Buddha, go to:  http://www.dharma-haven.org/thrangu-medicine-buddha.htm)

We can use this powerful imagery, the power of our imagination, to heal ourselves, to support the healing of others, and to ultimately heal the world.  And so it is.