The Five Skandhas (aggregates)

(For podcast, click here)  (For the ITunes version, click here)  


We continue a series of talks from Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das.  In the chapter entitled, “The First Noble Truth”, he goes into detail about the First Noble Truth, the very first teaching that the Buddha gave after he awakened.  As many of you know, the First Noble Truth is that Life is difficult.  Why does Life seem difficult?

Lama Surya Das identifies three kinds of difficulties we have: 

1.                  We don’t get what we think we want.  We want a certain job or house or relationship, thinking that will make life easier.  Without them, we might feel like life is difficult.  Sometimes, we get the job/house/relationship, and by doing so, we find that life gets more difficult instead of less.  Trying to arrange the world to make us happy doesn’t work for long, if at all.

2.                  Things change.  We are trying to get some stability in our life.  We want things to be predictable.  Maybe we find some small sense of security, and then, things change.  This is the reality of the impermanence of all “things”. 

3.                  The flawed nature of conditioned existence:  Conditioned existence is an amalgam of “things” and experiences that seem so real, but are really just an aggregation of all the “things” and experiences created by the karma of the past.

 

The Buddhist teachings break down the living experience into five components, called five aggregates (skandhas in Sanskrit), or combinations.  Although we will discuss them as if they were distinct in and of themselves, we will see how they work in concert with each other to form this experience we call living:

1.                  Form or matter:  external and internal matter, the physical world, the material body and the physical organs.  In early Buddhist literature, it includes the components of earth, water, fire, air, and space that are included in both the external world and the internal components of your body.  Think about what is inside you—blood, bile, bones, muscles, etc.  When we look at ourselves at these smaller components, we can see how we are in a constant state of change.  Blood flows, fluids and solids come in and go out, bones and muscles build up and break down.  We are not as solid as we might seem.

2.                   Sensation or feeling, physical or mental:  that which we experience through contact of the six senses with the external world (the five senses plus the mind).  Sensations arise through the contact of the eye with visible forms, the ear with sound, the nose with odor, the tongue with taste, the body with tangible things, and the mind with thoughts.

It is particularly important to understand that mind in these teachings is a sense organ or faculty, just like an eye or an ear. Some might think of the mind like a spirit or soul, but in Buddhism, it is seen as just another sense organ or faculty, combined with all the others that make up our experience.

Our senses also create the initial rise of pleasure or pain. The senses lead to craving, either to acquire something pleasurable or avoid something painful.

3.                  Perception, discrimination:  perception registers whether an object is recognized or not (for instance, the sound of a horn or the shape of a ball). Perception is what enables us to label the world around us.   What do you like and dislike?  The Sanskrit word, samjna, is translated as the "knowledge that puts together." It is the capacity to conceptualize and recognize things by associating them with other things. For example, we recognize windows as “window” because of previous experiences with glass that lets in light.

When we see something for the first time, we inevitably google our brain associations with the new object.  If I ask you to reach for your gizzard, you would probably think about chickens and other birds or whatever past experience you might have had with the word or something similar.   If you walk into a gym and see a piece of equipment, you will likely label it as an exercise machine, based on the context.  It is with perception that we label everything and everyone around us, include ourselves.

4.                  Mental formations, impulses, biases, prejudices, volition will/intentions/motivation:  all types of mental habits, thoughts, ideas, opinions, prejudices, compulsions, and decisions triggered by an object.  All volitional actions, good and bad, are included in the aggregate of mental formations.   Our actions follow our mental formations.  We have an idea, an opinion, a bias, then we often act upon that bias, sometimes unaware that it may not be true. The aggregate of mental formations is associated with karma, because volitional acts create karma. From here, we form interests and attractions, aversions and fears.  These mental formations begin to seem like who we are.

5.                  Consciousness or discernment,:  the basis of all experience.  It is important to understand that consciousness depends on the other skandhas and does not exist independently from them. It is an awareness but not a recognition. This awareness is not sensation, which is the second skandha. For most of us, this is a different way to think about "consciousness."  Consciousness is not special, above the other skandhas.  And it is not the self.  It is part of the interplay between the other aggregates, this interaction that causes an illusion of a solid, separate self.

“Seeing through the illusion of our self, helps us accept the tenuous and unreliable nature of reality.”  Lama Surya Das

As we break down the component parts of this thing called, “me”, we begin to see that we are more like a river than a mountain.  We ebb and flow and move and change.  We a process, not a thing at all.

So what is Buddha Nature?  We talk about Buddha Nature being innately in each of us, as always being there.  Where does it fit into the Five Skandhas?  It might be helpful to think of Buddha Nature as a pure light that shines continuously.  Just like the sun, it might be covered up by clouds at times, but the light is still there.  When we think about harnessing the power of the sun, we must create some catalyst, some mechanism, to convert the light into power.  With the light of Buddha Nature, we are the mechanism by which Buddha Nature is converted into power.  Just like with atomic power, it can be used to relieve suffering or cause suffering.  We choose. 

Buddha Nature shining through us creates the power of skillful means.  We are the light of the world.  The inner light is permanent, it is Unconditioned, therefore innate Buddha nature is constant.  Lama Surya Das states, “Actualizing the luminous formless and intangible core is what awakening is all about.”

Suzuki Roshi, a great Zen master said, “There are no enlightened individuals; there is only enlightened activity.”

Ego

(For podcast, click here)  (For the ITunes version, click here)  
We are beginning our series of talk based on Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das

Ego is one of those terms that are sometimes confusing since Western psychology and Eastern philosophy use same the word in different ways.  From a Western psychology perspective, it is described as part of our personality, the ego includes the rules and standards for skillful behaviors.

Having a healthy ego usually describes thinking about oneself and others in a healthy way, like having appropriate psychological boundaries with others or having a balanced approach to life’s situations.  In fact, in Joseph Goldstein’s book, Insight Meditation, he goes so far as to say that having a healthy “ego” in this respect is very helpful to the practice of Buddhism.

From an Eastern philosophy perspective, the term “Ego” is used to describe something different.  Ego, in Sanskrit, Atman, is this sense of a separate, solid self, this overpowering need we have to hold on to something solid about ourselves, and the need to see ourselves as something completely separate from others. 

That which we call “I” or “me” is actually just a constantly shifting set of desires, thoughts, consciousness, feelings.  Imagine for a moment that this is true—this alleged thing called “You” is not a separate, solid being, but is ephemeral, ever-changing.  Try for a moment, to find it, who are you?  What are you?  Are you the body?  Are you the mind?  To most of us, that feels a little scary.  If I’m not a solid “me”, whoever or whatever I “think” I am, then who/what am I?  What can I hang on to?  How do I live in such groundlessness?

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche gives a excellent explanation of Ego in his book The Myth of Freedom and the Way of Meditation.  He says that Ego is this need to secure our own happiness.  But this effort is ultimately futile, we might get a passing glimpse of happiness for ourselves, but it falls away because this world is constant changing.  We keep trying to get on solid ground and the ground keeps shifting.  We lose our job, we get sick, our dear ones get hurt or sick or die.   So, there really is no such thing as finding solid ground.  Trying to find happiness by ego gratification is like trying to satisfy a never-ending craving.  It becomes a constant struggle. 

Consider this possibility:   the reason we feel a need to hold on to something/ someone because we cannot stay in the present moment.  We are trying to be distracted by trying to satisfy these constant cravings.  We can’t stay in the present moment, so we try to solidify things and people by placing them in the context of our past or our future.   As we’ve discussed, when we meet someone for the first time, we usually see them through our filters of people we’ve known in the past and projections of how we might relate to this person in the future.  “I want this person to like me”, “I don’t like this person”, or even “I don’t care about this person”.  With this need for solid ground, we sometimes label everyone that we meet as someone to crave, or someone to push away, or someone to ignore. 

The three poisons (kleshas-Sanskrit) also translated as afflictive Emotions, are Ignorance, attachment (pride and jealousy—labeling and comparsion,competition) and aversion (it starts with saying we don’t like something, then we obsess about it into hatred, resentment and anger). These are mental states that cloud the mind and manifest in unskillful actions. Kleshas include anxiety, fear, anger, jealousy, desire, depression, etc.

Our need for permanence causes us to then look outside ourselves for a feeling of self-worth, of value.  We filter any event or situation or person so it appears that we are exactly as we already think we are, how ever it is that we already think about ourselves.  I’m sure each of us can relate to an experience with another person where we have taken whatever this person did and reinforced what we already believed about ourselves—good or bad.    It’s like a hypochondriac going to see the doctor for a checkup.  The person has already convinced themselves that something is wrong and will take whatever the doctor says as reinforcement of that belief.  It always reminds me of almost every Woody Allen movie  The doctor says, “hmmm, I see…” and Woody Allen exclaims, “Yes!  I knew you would see it too!”  How often do we look for external validation of what we already believe to be true?

It is this filtering process that gets our experience so far away from the actual realities of what is happening in any given moment.  It is this process of labeling and filtering that causes a sense of a separate solid self.

It’s as if we are in a room with no light and for some of us, not even aware that having light is possible.  So, imagine that light is a possibility, that awakening, enlightenment is possible for everyone.  If we are able to experience, even for a moment, a little bit of light, a little bit of this present moment, we can begin to see the world and ourselves more clearly.  With each moment of light, of direct knowing, the world becomes far more brilliant, intense, complex, than we ever imagined possible. This is the process of dissolving the illusion of ego and waking up.

So, sometimes, we realize how the ego has fooled us, we go to battle with it.  But having an aversion to the ego is only the ego playing the same game.  Our mind may continue to try and use the same construct to continue its control over our lives.  The first step is to make friends with this crazy illusion called ego, to embrace our egos as the way we’ve coped with the world, and then slowly let go of its misperceptions.

So how do we do this?  As we meditate, we just gently focus on our breath, and when thoughts, feelings, desires arise, we simple note them and go back to focusing on our breath.  Whenever we’re doing anything, like walking or doing dishes, we simply focus on the activity itself.  Single tasking. This simple exercise can help us recognize our illusory thoughts and then start to dissolve them.  We begin to see that our thoughts aren’t as solid or as real or as permanent as we might have believed.  If we can notice a craving rising from within without acting upon it, we can start to see through the craving—that they rise and fall on their own.  It is a misconception that we need to satisfy a craving, it is a misconception that ONLY by satisfying them will they go away.  There is an excellent practice for this realization.  In any day, we have many cravings-for food, for sex, for love, for attention—whatever it might be.  We can practice being mindful of the craving—and perhaps wait a moment before acting on it.  Just sit with the craving for a few minutes.  Ask, “where is the craving coming from? Why is there a feeling of a need for this person the object this feeling?  What would happen if I didn’t satisfy this craving?”  The practice is to stay present with the cravings and see what thoughts and feelings arise.

Also with averson, we might still get angry or jealous or feel sad or want to shut down, but anger can be just anger, fear can be just fear, sadness can be just sadness  AND joy can be just joy.  Purely, intensely experienced with no need to take any pre-determined action. 

And we can start to pay attention to what we are ignoring.  What in the present moment is being left out?

Slowly, making friends with then letting go of craving, aversion and ignorance, we can begin to experience the sacredness in each moment, regardless of what is happening.  We can begin to not be afraid of the luminous emptiness that is ever-present.  Imagine allowing the groundlessness of each moment.  And it starts with a moment here and a moment there.  Just a moment of freedom.  Then, allowing those moments to happen more often.  Little by little. 

When we begin to let go of our need to be separate and solid, ironically, that’s when the seeds of great peace and compassion begin to bloom.

Start with imagining that staying fully present is a real possibility; we can learn to see more clearly

We can make a commitment to awakening; put it on the priority list, have it on your schedule, what do you have to lose?  Perhaps the pain and suffering that comes from attachment, aversion and ignorance!

Bodhisattvas and Bodhicitta

(For podcast, click here)  (For the ITunes version, click here) 

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought we could talk about love.  Not the lusty love that makes us a little crazy and do silly things, and not the deep love between two people who value each other above everyone else, but rather the loving-kindness that is innately within each one of us, the limitless loving-kindness that we can radiate out to every other person on the planet.  In Mahayana Buddhism, this idea of sending loving-kindness to all beings is part of the practice of being a bodhisattva. A bodhisattva is translated as enlightened (bodhi) existence (sattva) or a person wishing to relieve the suffering of others and wishing to help others become enlightened. 

 As part of the second step on the Eightfold Path, Wise Intention, we vow to not focus solely on our own awakening, but we vow to help all others become awakened as well.  One of the Bodhisattva vows is:

Sentient beings are numberless—I vow to liberate them.

Delusions are inexhaustible—I vow to transcend them.

Dharma Teachings are boundless—I vow to master them.

The Buddha’s enlightened way is unsurpassable—I vow to embody it.

(translation from Awakening the Buddha Within, by Lama Surya Das)

The idea of wishing to help the entire world awaken—that probably seems a bit daunting!  On the internet, there is a clock that keeps track of approximately how many people there are in the world in any given hour.   As of about 6 pm last night, there were 6,993,879,604.    That is a lot of people who might be suffering.  We’ve got our work cut out for us.  There is a wonderful quote by Mother Theresa with some good advice:

"Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you."

Bodhicitta is another word you often read or hear about in Buddhist writings.  It is translated as awakened heart.  It’s interesting that in the original Pali, the word, Citta, means heart-mind, in that it was thought that the heart and mind functioned together.  Centuries later, recent research now shows that there are actually neural networks in the heart as well.  So, we might more accurately think of Bodhicitta as awakened heart-mind.  One who has bodhicitta as the primary motivation for all of his or her activities is called a bodhisattva.

Beginning students commonly ask how they can honestly vow to save all beings. It sounds like missionary arrogance. Hui-neng [the Sixth Zen Patriarch] offers a response: "You are saving them in your own mind." It is bodhichitta that you are cultivating—your own aspiration for wisdom and compassion, and your determination to practice it in the world as best you can.     -   Robert Aitken Roshi, "The Bodhisattva Vows"

The Buddha encouraged us to never go out and evangelize.  Instead, he said if you embody the teachings, others will be naturally curious about what has caused this transformation in your life, only when they ask, then and only then, should you share with them this practice.  From the very beginning, even his five friends who were ascetics with him, they had to beg him to teach them about this wonderful practice that had changed him so dramatically.  

In Awakening the Buddha Within, Lama Surya Das describes bodhicitta as the purified and fully developed heart-mind.  Practicing bodhicitta means cultivating all one’s innate enlightened qualities and following the path of awakening.  Having an open heart-mind is teaching us how to be open and seeing the innate goodness in ourselves and all others.

Buddhism is a practice designed to relief suffering, so by its very nature, we want to relieve not only our own suffering but the suffering of others,  ALL sentient beings, not just the ones we like.  Whoa!  "You mean I have to desire to relieve the suffering of people that annoy me or hurt me or anger me?  Can’t there possible be some exceptions to this practice?"  In Buddhism, there are no exceptions.  We work towards relieving our own suffering and the suffering of all others, even the ones that annoy us or don’t seem to deserve it, or who have hurt us in some way.  It’s easy to be loving and kind to the people we like.  It is the sending loving-kindness to these difficult ones when we really earn our Buddhist stripes. 

How we think about ourselves and others is critical to how we talk and act.  Our thoughts are shaping and defining our actions and words.  Lama Surya Das encourages us to infuse Truth and Love into everything we do.  We strive to combine Wisdom and Compassion in our thoughts, our speech and our actions.

He says:

If it looks like wisdom, but is unkind rather than loving, then it is not wisdom.  If it feels like love, but it’s not wise, then it is not love.

There is a tender part of our heart that doesn’t want to feel vulnerable.  Maybe you’ve been hurt before and the pain was so awful, that you’ve sworn off being that open to anyone ever again.  Now, I’m encouraging you to try, even just little, even if it’s just a small crack, to open up your innately good and kind heart.  You may still be hurt again, but it might be easier to stay standing with an open heart with these practices of compassion and wisdom. 

We can begin in the simplest of ways.  Something as simple as silently wishing each and every person that you come in contact with, “may you be happy.”  Then, we can look for ways to reach out in earnest and help others who are having a difficult time.  Several of us go to feed the hungry at St. Paul’s the second Saturday of each month—it is always a heartfelt experience.  It’s a symbol of bodhicitta in action.   How can we go out in the community and be a loving presence and support to those who are suffering.

We close with the Bodhicitta dedication, wishing that whatever benefit is derived from us meditating, that the benefit be for the happiness of all beings. 

May the pure, brilliant sun of bodhicitta

Dawn in each and every heart and mind

Dispelling the darkness of suffering and confusion

Unstoppably—until all are illumined and awakened.

From Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das

Basics of Buddhism 5

(For podcast, click here)  (For the ITunes version, click here)

Many people have asked, “What does it mean to be a Buddhist?”  To explore that question, I decided to tack on one more discussion as part of the Basics of Buddhism.  When I think about this topic, it reminds me of a workshop I attended several years ago.  It was some kind of personal growth session, and there were many different types of people that participated.  At one point in the workshop, we split up into smaller groups of six – seven people and each person introduced themself.  One of the women in my group said she was an actress.  She was so beautiful and had that dramatic flare.  She went on to say that she was Buddhist, and of course, I thought, “Yippee! A kindred spirit! Someone like me!”  At the next break, I went up to speak with her.  I told her I was Buddhist as well and asked her what Buddhist book was her favorite.  Who was her favorite teacher?  She became annoyed and abruptly replied, “Oh, I haven’t read anything about it, I just FEEL Buddhist…”  I’m pretty sure that is NOT what being Buddhist is all about.

Today, I want to explore what “being Buddhist” means.  Many of you have been coming to the Sunday morning meditations for many years, and you may have no intention of ever calling yourself Buddhist, and that is totally okay.  You can get a lot from these teachings by practicing mindfulness and meditation without going any further or making commitment to these specific teachings.  But some of you might come to a point where you feel like this truly is your spiritual path, and you may want to make a greater commitment.  In the Buddhist tradition, the first step of a becoming a Buddhist is the process of taking the Refuge Vows and agreeing to abide by the Five Precepts--that is what we will talk about today.

In Buddha, Dharma and Sangha

We go for refuge until fully awakened.

Through the power of Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Enthusiastic Effort, Concentration, and Wisdom,

For the sake of all beings, may we realize and demonstrate our innate goodness.

The Refuge Vows are exactly the same as the Refuge Prayer that we say at the beginning of each meditation.  When you say this prayer as a vow, you are committing to these teachings as your primary spiritual path, by taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.  It’s NOT about converting to Buddhism—many people of other faiths still consider themselves Christian or Jewish or whatever spiritual path they are also on—but it is about making a greater commitment to follow these teachings.

We begin by taking refuge in the Buddha.  We have a statue on the altar every Sunday, and many people wonder if we are worshipping the Buddha.  NO!  Buddha did not want to be worshipped.  He taught again and again that he was an ordinary person, and that what he had done, every other person can do as well.  We look at statues of the Buddha and see a role model, as inspiration for our own enlightenment.  We, as ordinary people, can practice these teachings and we, too, can awaken.  We take refuge in Buddha because he reminds us that awakening is possible.  We do not have to wait 10,000 years to get to the point of awakening.  It is possible to wake up in this lifetime, and experience the joy and peace that the Buddha experienced.  We look at statues of the Buddha with a sense of encouragement that we, too, can live an awakened life. 

Also, it is often described as taking refuge in our own innate Buddhist Nature, our Christ Consciousness.  The Buddha taught that we are innately good, innately wise, and that we can rely upon this innate nature to make more skillful choices in life.  Even if we sometimes forget about our goodness or cover up our innate wisdom with old unskillful habits, it is still there within us, just waiting to be tapped into. 

We can also take refuge in the Dharma, which represents all the enlightened teachings of those that came before us and were so kind to show us the way.  One of the distinctions between Buddhism and Christianity is the perspective on enlightened teachings.  In Christianity, we have the Bible, identified as the word of God.  In Buddhism, many have become enlightened through these teachings, and they then write words encouraging others and pointing to the way.   We can take refuge in all these teachings, and explore them for the help and support that they can provide for our own enlightenment. 

We can also take refuge in the Sangha, a group of like-minded individuals who are supporting each other on the spiritual path.  You might have thought that you got up this morning and came here to the meditation because of a personal need--the crazy week you had or feeling stressed out.  However, the fact that you showed up this morning has already blessed each and every person here.  Imagine what it would be like, in this very moment, to be sitting here all alone.  What a more joyful and impactful experience it is to be here with everyone being part of this shared process!  Taking refuge in the Sangha is a two-way street.  You are committing to support and encourage others who are trying to walk this path, and you are committing to allow others to support and encourage you as well.  It is a process that has been found to work well for 2600 years.

The other commitment is the Five Precepts.  There are actually two different sets of Precepts.  If you were going to join a monastery, you would take the Refuge Vows, have your head shaved, and agree to abide by the following precepts:

For monks/nuns:

·                     Not killing

·                     Not stealing

·                     Not lying

·                     No sexual interactions

·                     Not using intoxicants

Most of us, however, are more likely to continue to be householders.  We will still pay the bills, be with our family and show up for work.  Therefore, there is a little bit different process for householder versus monks/nuns.   For householders, you are still encouraged to snip off a bit of your hair, but it doesn’t have too much!  Rituals can have value if they inspire you towards more skillful thoughts and actions.

For householders:

·                     Not killing

·                     Not stealing

·                     Not lying

·                     Not engaging in sexual misconduct

·                     Not using intoxicants unskillfully

These Precepts are not commandments, but rather guidelines.  We are encouraged to rely on these actions, but still use our inner wisdom to search for the most skillful response.  The first guideline is “do not kill”.  You might wear leather shoes or might eat meat, some Buddhist traditions do. We practice honoring life as best we can in the real world because that usually relieves the most suffering.  

The next Precept is "do not steal", and it’s clarified more completely as “do not take what is not freely given to you.”  As well as to give to others that which you can share.

The third Precept, “do not lie”, is another good example of how these are guidelines, not commandments.  The extreme situation usually given is to imagine that you lived in Nazi Germany and were hiding a Jewish family in your attic.  If soldiers came to your door and inquired, lying would likely relieve more suffering than telling the truth.  Once again, these guidelines can lead us in the right direction, but they do not take away our responsibility to be fully present in each moment to assess the most skillful response.

The fourth Precept is different for monks/nuns and householders.  Monks and nuns are encouraged not to have any sexual activities, but there’s good news for us householders!  We are asked to not engage in sexual misconduct.  Most of us can think of situations when sex is used in ways that are harmful to ourselves and to others, and we can instead make choices that do no harm.   These decisions are part of the path as well.

Lastly, for monks and nuns, they are encouraged to not use any intoxicants.  We householders get a break on this Precept as well.  We are asked to not use intoxicants unskillfully or in ways that lead to “heedlessness”.   Intoxicants can cloud our judgment.  It is a personal decision for you whether you have a glass of wine with your meal.  Are you doing so in a way that is not causing harm to yourself or others? 

That’s it.  The first official step on the Buddhist path is committing to taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha, and committing to following these Five Precepts.  Another question you might have is, “if I make this commitment, is it for the rest of my life?”  That is a question only you can answer.  I can tell you for myself, I first took the Refuge Vows when I was 21 years old on retreat in Bodh Gaya, India.  Everyone else was doing it.  It seemed kind of fun.  It did seem kind of cool to be Buddhist.  But, I didn’t take them to heart.  I came back to America and lived my life, and for a decade, they didn’t do anything for me, because I didn’t do anything for them.  In the nineties, I began to rekindle my Buddhist reading and practice.  I found this book by Lama Surya Das entitled, Awakening the Buddha Within.  When I came to the passage that talked about the Refuge Vows, I was sitting at home all alone.  I remember feeling so amazed at how transformational these vows then appeared.  In my home, all by myself, simply reading these words that I had heard before, these words now meant something deep and powerful to me.  After reflecting on this passage, I went over to my sewing kit and pulled out some light blue thread, took a small section of the end of my hair, and tied it with the thread.  I said the Refuge Vows out loud three times, and committed to following the Five Precepts, and I took some scissors and cut off this small piece of my hair.  I still have it placed there between Pages 56 and 57.  It was in that moment when I decided to commit myself to this path.  It was right time for me to make this commitment.  For me, that moment was the moment I realized that this was going to be my spiritual path. 

So, it doesn’t have to be a special ceremony or special setting.  It doesn’t even have to be with other people.  If you decide that you at that point in your life where you want to commit more deeply to this spiritual path, you can simply take the Refuge Vows and Five Precepts for yourself.  Several people have shared that they would like to participate in a special ceremony, so you’ll have an opportunity to do so this Tuesday evening at 8 pm.  There are handouts that go into more detail about the ceremony itself.   You are NOT taking the Refuge Vows to me or with me;   I’m not a Lama or Rinpoche or anything special.  You would be taking the Refuge Vows with and for yourself.  Only you know if you want to take Refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha and the Five Precepts.   Take time to reflect on whatever decision you think is right for you.  No rush, no hurry, no hassle, no pressure.   But do not take them lightly, for you might as well not take them at all.