Sangha practice as a way to find and live your passion

           As the final part of our series on Finding and Living Your Passion, I want to end on an important note, which is Sangha, the noble spiritual community, this group of like-minded seekers that support each other on the path.  We talked a few weeks ago about asking for help.  Today, I want to talk about how offering help is a way that you can better find and live your own passion.   Karl sent me this fascinating article about the scientific research on how our need for group support and encouragement is actually written in our DNA. 

Sangha is a Sanskrit and Pali word meaning community with a common goal, It is part of the Triple Gem, an important component of the Buddhist teachings.  The Triple Gem is The Buddha and The Dharma and The Sangha—those tools that we can use to support our awakening and the awakening of others. 

Historically, the term Sangha was specifically about the group of monks and nuns that lived and practiced together, but many Buddhist teachers today have expanded the description to include us lay people, people who are spiritual seekers, having a spiritual yearning.  Together, we can support and encourage each other in growing spiritually. Anyone who is here today can be that person.  AND Sangha can be more than even a spiritual community.  Sangha can truly represent all those people in your life who you love and support, and who love and support you.

Buddhism in general might seem like a solitary practice, all this meditation in the silence and retreats, and there is certainly a component that is about training your mind, but we train our mind to be of service to ourselves AND others.  The Buddhist practice is about how to be in the world but not of it.  To be around others in a loving and kind way, but not getting caught up in the drama.

Anybody know anybody who loves drama?   I’m sure each of us can bring to mind those people in our lives, maybe at times even ourselves, when creating conflict and turmoil seems to be the highest priority. 

But the idea of Sangha is more than just CREATING A NO DRAMA ZONE.  It’s about reaching out, encouraging others, having compassion, wise action towards others. 

Lama Surya Das likens the encouragement that we give as creating our own immortality—the love and support that you give us lives on well beyond your life.  As part of this teaching on Sangha, we can include the fourth step on the eightfold path, which is Right or Wise action.  We start to see our action towards others are part of our practice

There are two apects of the Sangha teachings that I want to talk about.  First, who do you spend your time with?  And  Second, how do you spend your time with them.

The first aspect is WHO do we spend our time with is a complicated question.  We spent months on the Lojong teachings which focused on making every situation our practice, including those with difficult people in our lives.  So, it might have seemed that we’re supposed to love everyone equally, and we are.  But that doesn’t mean we have to spend all our time with them.  The teaching on Sangha points out that there is great value in finding and associating with people who are on a similar path.  So, how do we find the balance?  Who are those people in your life that support and encourage you?  How can you spend more time with them?  And who are those people that drain your energy and test your patience?  And how can you either spend less time with them or find a way to create a reasonable boundary?

Deciding who we want to spend our time with is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives.  For myself, having been married a few times, I can attest to the fact that making a wrong decision can have lasting consequences.  BUT, no matter where you are in relationships, you have this point in time, this exact moment, to decide who you want to spend time and work towards increasing your “Sangha” time. 

The second aspect is HOW you spend your times with others.  In Buddhism, we are encouraged to practice generosity and compassion with others.  Think for a moment about HOW you spend time with those important people in your life. 

There are many ways to help others, but here’s three ways that can be food for thought. We can help others succeed by:

1.  Acknowledge and praise others’ strengths and accomplishments  --  Catch someone doing something good;  I’ve found that if I genuinely admire someone’s actions or even beautiful jewelry or a will-put-together outfit, I can say it to them, and that can be the start of a loving and kind relationship.  It truly can be that simple. It doesn’t have to wait until they cure cancer.  It’s those daily little things that we notice that can add up to a big difference.  And a component of this practice can be to ignore the little ways that people screw up.  My daughter was visiting me last week, and after she left, I went to put something in the microwave, only to find that she had nuked something with BBQ sauce that splattered the microwave.  I was irritated to no end.  I was going to tell her how inconsiderate this was, I was going to read her the riot act.  Luckily, she was in a time zone where she hadn’t awaken yet, so by the time I called her, I had calmed down, and realized that in the big scheme of things, she’s a really good person, loving and kind, and I was probably never going to be as clean as I’d like her to be.  So, I let it go, and felt so much better for doing so. 

2. Create supportive environments for learning and positive experiences.  How can you create an environment where those around you are having worthwhile experiences? As parents, we have many opportunities to do so.  Seeing our children as beautiful manifestations of being to which we are contributing to their unfolding.  Sometimes is might feel like our children or our partners our family or friends may get in the way of our meditation and mindfulness, but I encourage us all to see them as opportunities for awakening.  Encouraging our family and friends on whatever path they walk. 

3.     Empower others through being a role model.  And lastly, being a role model.  How do our actions teach others?  This is a powerful part of that fourth step of the eightfold path.  We do the right thing not because we have to but because it’s best for us AND others.  Actions speak louder than words.    

Yale psychology professor Paul Bloom did some groundbreaking research, when he and his team found that infants in their first year of life demonstrate aspects of an innate sense of right and wrong, good and bad, even fair and unfair. When shown a puppet climbing a mountain, either helped or hindered by a second puppet, the babies oriented toward the helpful puppet. They were able to make an evaluative social judgment, in a sense a moral response.  This is a critical teaching in the Buddhist practice – we are innate good.  We might not always feel that way or act that way, but it’s in our DNA.

In Tibetan Buddhism, there’s a lovely saying, that only the snow lion can become enlightened alone.  For us humans, we need others to help us awaken. 

Asking for Help and Looking for Good

As part of our series on Finding and Living Your Passion, this last Sunday I talked about asking for help.  When we think about finding and living our passion, it might seem like a solitary process.  I’m going to figure this out; I’m going to make this happen.   But in the Buddhist teachings, there’s a clear understanding that we’re inseparably interconnected to all beings, and that we can and should rely on the Sangha, this group of like-minded people, to support us in finding and living our passion.  Groups and like-minded friends can be very helpful--I’m sure we can all relate to how much easier it is to meditate in a group than it is when we’re at home alone by ourselves.

So, why wouldn’t we rely on others for finding and living our passion if it’s so dang helpful?  The simple answer may be, “Because sometimes people don’t seem so helpful.”  In fact, sometimes it might seem, “It would be a whole lot easier if everyone would just quit getting in my way!”  There can be a subtle or not-so-subtle idea that the people in our lives are obstacles to our happiness.

Asking for help is a critical element in living passionately, so our struggle in asking for help is worth examining.  First, I want to talk about good and evil.  Second, I want to talk about God and no God.

Are some people evil?

Many religions identify that there is good and evil in the world.  And this makes things nice and tidy, but it also keeps us from looking deeper, from trying to discover causes. Once something has been identified as evil, no more is there a need to explain it, only a need to fight it.

I recently read the story about Jaycee Dugard and her tormentors.  This husband and wife might be deemed “evil” by some, and certainly their actions were despicable.  But, labeling them as evil denies their humanity.  Amid the horror of the story, the man who abused her rationalized that her abuse was saving other young girls from being abused—twisted, demented logic, but perhaps a window into his humanity.  The wife of the tormentor, who could not have children of her own, made Jaycee pretend that she was the older sister, and pretending that the children were those of the wife.  When Jaycee wanted some closure and went to the prison where the man’s wife was being held, the woman actually asked Jaycee if the children missed her.  These acts are unconscionable and worthy of punishment, but thinking of the people involved as separate from us, as not human, does no service to providing peace in the world or in our own lives.

Sorting people into separate divisions such as good or evil and categories is very un-Buddhist. The Buddha's teaching of the Four Noble Truths tells us that suffering is rooted in the delusion of an isolated, separate self.

If only there were evil people somewhere, insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?

—Alexander Solzhenitsyn

God as an external force

From Barbara O”Brien:  “Some religions teach that evil is a force outside ourselves that seduces us into sin. This force is sometimes thought to be generated by Satan or various demons. The faithful are encouraged to seek strength outside themselves to fight evil, by looking to God.

The Buddha's teaching could not be more different --

"By oneself, indeed, is evil done; by oneself is one defiled. By oneself is evil left undone; by oneself, indeed, is one purified. Purity and impurity depend on oneself. No one purifies another." (Dhammapada, chapter 12, verse 165)

Buddhism teaches us that evil is something we create, not something we are or some outside force that infects us.

In Buddhism there are evil actions, which we should seek to block, preventing harm from coming to anyone; but there is no absolute, unchangeable force of evil in the world.  By contrast, Buddhism focuses on the three unwholesome roots of evil, also known as the three poisons: craving, aversion, and ignorance. In place of the struggle between good and evil, Buddhism emphasizes ignorance and enlightenment. The basic problem is one of self-knowledge: do we really understand what motivates us?”

This second point is the difference between believing or trusting in an external God and believing and trusting in ourselves.  In the book, When Things Fall apart, Pema Chodron describes this desire to look outside ourselves as wishing for a babysitter, someone who is taking care of us, watching over us, punishing us when we do wrong, keeping us in line.     The simple word God is loaded with personal meanings and extrapolations, but to generalize, it is often understood as this external force that is acting like a babysitter to us.

There's proof that having confidence in one's own abilities to successfully respond to any situation provides greater happiness, and that is certainly part of the Buddhist teachings.  However, there is additional value in feeling the greater connection with all beings, including Bodhisattvas who are specifically described as having the purpose to help other beings become enlightened. There are many Mahayana and Vajrayana visualizations about the infinite deities that exist in timeless time and are here to "help" us.  So whether there is a God or no God in Buddhism starts to look a lot murkier than many would describe.

We each can look out our own definition and experience of the word God, to see if it seems more like a babysitter or like a principle of good.  And we can try out seeing "me" as greater than this individual body.  We can draw a broader line about who "I" am, in recognition of the inseparability of all beings.  We can see it as if we are all one being, using the analogy that if a hand might become sick, is still supported by the rest of the body.   There are many Buddhist teachings about the happiness that comes from acting for the greater good.

As the next step in your journey towards living passionately in each moment, try catching someone doing something good—something kind, considerate, supportive, loving.  Look for the good.  It’s amazing how much more you find when that is what you are seeking.

Vajrasattva (Forgiveness and Purification) Practice

Vajrasattva  –   Name given a Bodhisattva (enlightened being) who expanded upon Mahayana Buddhism to include everything in meditation (Vajrayana) as well as the discovery of several rituals, visualizations, and yogas to assist in the achievement of forgiveness and fresh starts, which can lead to enlightenment.

Vajrasattva Purification (from Ven. Thubten Chodron’s Pearl of Wisdom, Book II)

1.   Begin by visualize Vajrasattva above and in front of you

2.   Begin by reciting the refuge vows three times:

In Buddha, Dharma and Sangha

We go for refuge until fully awakened

Through the power of  Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Enthusiastic Effort, Concentration and Wisdom

For the sake of all beings, may we realize and demonstrate our innate goodness.

3.   The Power of Regret – reflect, with deep regret, the specific negativities that you have created, and ask for Vajrasattva’s help in guiding you from this misery.

4.   The Power of Remedial Action – a process to purify all past experiences.  While reciting the 100 syllable mantra  21 times or the shorten version “om vajrasattva hum” 108 times, visualize the flow of “light and nectar” from Vajrasattva down through the crown of your head and fill every cell of your body and mind with infinite bliss.

5.   Purification of Body – Your disturbing attitudes and negativities take the form of black ink.  Flushed out by the light and nectar, they leave your body through the lower openings, like filthy liquid flowing down a drainpipe.  Feel completely empty of these problems; they no longer exist. 

6.   Purification of Speech - …take the form of liquid tar. ..flow out the upper openings of your body…

7.   Purification of the Mind - …take the form of darkness in your heart…the darkness completely disappears…

8.   Simultaneous Purification – Do the three above visualizations simultaneously.  Feel completely free of these obscurations.

9.   The Power of the Promise – To create a fresh start, make the following promise to Vajrasattva, “I vow that I will do no negative action from now on.”  Vajrasattva is extremely pleased and says, “My spiritual child of the essence, all your negativities, obscurations and degenerated vows have been completely purified.”

With delight Vajrasattva melts into light and dissolves into you.  Your body, speech and mind become inseparably one with Vajrasattva’s holy body, speech and mind. 

10. Dedication – “Due to this merit, may I soon attain the enlightened state of Vajrasattva, that I may be able to liberate all beings from their suffering.  May the precious Buddha Nature arise and grow.  May it have no decline, but increase forever more.”