Sympathetic Joy

This morning, the last Sunday before Christmas, seems like the perfect time to talk about joy, or more specifically sympathetic joy, which is one of the boundless states of being that we practice in Buddhism, along with compassion, loving-kindness and equanimity. So what’s this joy thing all about? Many people initially reading about Buddhism, think it’s a practice just focused on alleviating suffering, since that is what’s talked about in the four Noble Truths. But Buddhist teachings are actually filled with the great joy that sustain us in these practices.

Life, though full of woe, holds also sources of happiness and joy, unknown to most. Let us teach people to seek and to find real joy within themselves and to rejoice with the joy of others! Let us teach them to unfold their joy to ever sublimer heights! Noble and sublime joy is not foreign to the Teaching of the Buddha. Wrongly, the Buddha’s Teaching is sometimes considered to be a doctrine diffusing melancholy. Far from it: the Dharma leads step by step to an ever purer and loftier happiness and joy.

–Nyanaponika Thera.

So, how do we, in these lives that we are living today, cultivating a state of joy? In the teachings on the four boundless qualities, there are certain practices and specifics that are given about this simple experience called Joy. Think about times in your life when you’ve experienced joy? What brought it on? What did it feel like? How did it taste? Recall a Specific time in your past when you experienced joy. Imagine now how the sensation of joy felt in your body? What thoughts went through your mind when you were experiencing it and what thoughts come to mind now as you recall it?

In Buddhism, each the boundless states are intertwined with our interconnectivity with others. And so it is with Joy, in fact, it’s taught as sympathetic joy. Can you imagine a time in the past when you felt true joy for the good fortune of another? The practice of cultivating sympathetic joy is anchored in proactively hoping for, encouraging, and delighting in the joy of others, and the realization that their joy can be shared.

Now, conceptually, this sounds all sweet and good—how easy it should be to relish and encourage the joy of others, but let’s look at some more specific examples. Imagine that at your job, you and another person are up for a promotion, and they get it instead of you. How does that feel? Do we feel okay only it we judge the other person to be worthy of the promotion? And if we think they didn’t deserve it, admittedly doesn’t that diminish or even destroy any sense of joy that we might have for them? That would NOT be sympathetic joy.

Even further, thinking about a person with whom you have difficulty being with, imagine that they received some news about something that brings them great joy. How would you react to that? Is there judging? Is there perhaps even anger or resentment? This would NOT be sympathetic joy.

The teaching of sympathetic joy begins with a simple exercise much like our loving-kindness practice, where we imagine being truly joyful for the fortunate events that happen to others. This practice zeros in on whether we’re still holding onto a sense of a solid, separate self. For if we are all one, like waves on the ocean, then isn’t someone else’s joy, our joy as well? Now, granted, some individuals might find joy in hurtful actions, and this practice is not condoning or encouraging people to be joyful for unskillful situations, but there are plenty of opportunities for encouraging and appreciating others’ joy that is skillful and supportive.

Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book entitled “old Path, White Clouds”, describes Sympathetic Joy in the following way:

The definition is: being happy with someone's fortune/happiness. Sympathetic joy here refers to the potential of bliss and happiness of all sentient beings, as they can all become Buddhas. The near enemy is hypocrisy or affectation. The opposite is jealousy, when one cannot accept the happiness of others. A result which one needs to avoid is: spaced-out bliss, which can easily turn into laziness. Note: sympathetic joy is a great antidote to depression for oneself as well, but this should not be the main goal. By rejoicing in others' progress on the spiritual path, one can actually share in their positive karma. Sympathetic joy is an unselfish, very positive mental attitude which is beneficial for oneself and others. In this case, it also refers specifically to rejoicing in the enlightenment of others.

And Lama Surya Das, from Awakening the Buddha Within, describes it in this way:

“We rejoice in the good fortune of all. We rejoice in the virtuous good deeds and accomplishments of others. We put an end to covetouseness and jealousy. We forgive and accept others, and put an end to feelings of ill will and anger. Blessings to the world, and Blessings to ourselves.”

So, throughout the buddhist teachings, we are encouraged to practice Sympathetic Joy, this noble state of boundless being. As with all these teachings, this joy may or may not feel natural at first. We acknowledge that we really don’t feel joy when, as an example, our best friend gets married for the fourth time to someone who we don’t approve of. Or that our parent gets married to a person we detest or worse don’t trust. Imagine the actions that will result from stewing in these feelings of hatred and resentment. Once again, we are not talking about idiotic joy, where we unskillfully support others in unskillful actions just because we’re Buddhists and we’re supposed to love everyone. An important distinction is that the practice of these boundless states is done while being fully present in each moment, and as we know, in each moment, all the information we need for right action is available to us.

So, what if your mom or your child does something that brings them joy but seems unskillful? FIRST, check your own motivation—why are you judging it as unskillful? Be clear about your own motives and desires. SECOND, if there is cause for concern, how might you express that in a skillful way? THIRD, how could we live our life, proactively looking for the potential for experiencing joy, the joy that is present in each and every moment, regardless of our external circumstances. As we have learned from other teachings, joy comes not from superficial events or mercurial emotions, but from the innate joy that exists within each and every one of us, a joy that does not require external things to be a certain way. For example, in the first quote that I gave you this morning, let’s take a look at Nyanaponika Thera. This is a man that was born Siegmund Feniger in 1901, born Jewish in Germany, and after his dad died, and Hitler came to power, he fled with his mother to Vienna, and he himself went on to Sri Lanka, in order to avoid the gas chambers,. He studied Theravadan Buddhism and was ordained as a novice monk. But once World War II started, solely because he was German, he was imprisoned throughout the war. But, he never lost his connection to the teachings, never lost his innate knowing of the truth. He went on to translate hundreds of the Buddha’s teachings at a time with the Western world had very few translations to work with. He never gave up. So, let’s listen to his quote again, within the context of his life.

Life, though full of woe, holds also sources of happiness and joy, unknown to most. Let us teach people to seek and to find real joy within themselves and to rejoice with the joy of others! Let us teach them to unfold their joy to ever sublimer heights! Noble and sublime joy is not foreign to the Teaching of the Buddha. Wrongly, the Buddha’s Teaching is sometimes considered to be a doctrine diffusing melancholy. Far from it: the Dharma leads step by step to an ever purer and loftier happiness.

So, as we spend these next few days with family and friends, look upon all activities as an opportunity to practice Sympathetic Joy, to seek out, to proactively explore each moment for the joy that lies within each situation. Find your own innate joy, regardless of your external circumstances, if only to rejoice in this wonderful gift of life that each of us gets each day that we awaken.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice!

And we can end with the prayer for all beings to experience these boundless qualities:

May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness

May all beings remain free from suffering and the cause of suffering.

May all beings remain unseparated from the sacred joy and happiness that is totally free from sorrow.

May all beings come to rest in the boundless and all-inclusive equanimity that is beyond attachment and aversion.

Self versus No Self

Although we often talk about the similarities within Buddhism and Unity Truth Priniciples, there are some distinctions that are worth evaluating. In Buddhism, a foundational teaching is that of No-Self. In this regard, Buddhism is unique, since no other major religion or philosophy articulates this perspective--that this stuff that we think of as “me” is really just a collection of feelings, and thoughts and ever-changing cells. In Unity, there is a foundational teaching of the ability of the mind to create reality, and thereby healing oneself and one’s life. Well, if there is no self, then what are we healing? Why are we do we meditate to become better selves, if there is no self to become better? Is it possible that this concept of self and no-self can be reconciled?

--Walpola Rahula (Theravadan teacher), What the Buddha Taught

Buddhism stands unique in the history of human thought in denying the existence of. . . a Soul, Self, or Atman. According to the teaching of the Buddha, the idea of self is an imaginary, false belief which has no corresponding reality, and it produces harmful thoughts of "me" and "mine," selfish desire, craving, attachment, hatred, ill-will, conceit, pride, egoism, and other defilements, impurities and problems. It is the source of all the troubles in the world from personal conflicts to wars between nations. In short, to this false view can be traced all the evil in the world.

Whether we see life from this point of view or not, this philosophy gives us an opportunity to explore this thing we call “me” and figure out what to do with our perception of it being real. So, in this moment, right now, close your eyes and ask the question, Who am I? What am I? Where am I? Are you your body? Are you your feelings? Your thoughts? Breathe deeply into these questions. What is my essence? Where is my essence? The Buddhist teachings are saying that this firm belief in a solid, separate self is just an illusion. We’ve all heard the truism that since every cell is born, lives, then dies, over a period of time, that each of us will be completely new people in seven years. So, why doesn’t that seem to really happen? How is that seven years ago, it seems that we were quite similar to what we think we are right now? Certainly, there are some stuff called DNA that apparently determines what kind of cells can be created. And yet, in both Buddhism and Unity and now in scientific circles, it’s understood that DNA does not absolutely predict what is manifested. We do know that as long as we keep reinforcing the same thoughts and perceptions of existence, there will continue to be this assumption that things are a certain way, and that we are a certain way, and similar thoughts will continue to be created, because that’s what we’ve always believed. So how is the cycle broken?

Both Unity and Buddhism agree that beyond what is perceived by our conscious mind, that there is a Powerful “energy”-- God, Rigpa, Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness, Source, whatever we want to call it-- and it is this “energy” that is what’s actually real. With this energy, we can manifest many different kinds of life, and it is our minds that we train to discover this Power within us.

Buddhism challenges the view of life as separate and distinct, but doesn’t become nihilistic and say, well, it doesn’t really matter, so no need to do anything. Why should we care? Why don’t we just sit and do nothing and wait to die? Buddhist Teachings aren’t saying that at all. The teachings are trying to break down this false front, this fakery that appears to be our self to find true happiness, the complete end of suffering, the clear seeing what truly is real. Most of us spend a lot of time protecting this image of our self. What if we could drop all that extra work? The Buddhist Teachings as Walpola Rahula stated, that most unskillful acts in the world are created in an attempt to protect this illusion of self.

In Mahayana Buddhism, the emphasis on No Self gets a little watered down, when the teachings of innate Buddha nature began. A debate sprung up about whether Buddha Nature existed within each person, whether there was this timeless changeless, beingness OR whether there truly was “Nothingness” as Nirvana has sometimes been translated. (Words seem to be a major obstacle in any spiritual discussion.) Mahayana texts talk about how we release our attachment to our lower little mind self, and rise up to experience our higher Selves, our True Self, our innate Buddha Nature. So as you will see in the teachings, even the various Buddhist traditions do not agree completely on the concept of No Self.

So, whichever way you go, these teachings challenge our beliefs at the very core of who we think we are and how we think life operates. It breaks us down, forces us to see ourselves and the world in a new way. The more we let go of our need for superiority over others, the less suffering we begin to experience. The more we let go of our need to cling to our old way of seeing life, the more likely it is that we can see things and people and situations with fresh eyes, with a new perspective, and begin to see the underlying beingness of all things, including our “selves”. Imagine that the only glue holding together this old notion of a separate and solid being is your delusional thoughts. And unfortunately, most of our society believes these delusional thoughts as well, encouraging us to fight for some perceived piece of the proverbial pie that we’re all supposed to want. But what if it weren’t true?

What if we could see the underlying connection between and around each of us. As you are present in this moment, imagine that you can physically see the energy around you, the giving and receiving of energy that is happening with other “selves”. It isn’t something special happening. This process of giving and receiving and merging of energy is happening all the time—it’s just that most of the time, we don’t notice it. So, when we start to pay attention, to be mindful, the underlying reality of our co-existence is revealed. And understanding this gives compassion a whole new way of being seen. Imagine that you could loosen your hold on this image of me and mine. Imagine that your concerns are the concerns of others as well, that your joy can be the joy of others.

In this new way of seeing, we are not being compassionate because we want to be good people. We can be compassionate because we see the other person as us, is a part of us, is us, is a part of the ocean of energy swirling around, each of us, each as waves on the ocean.

Imagine that your individually perceived problems are not isolated to just you. We are each sharing joy and sadness, hopes and dreams and anxieties and fears--in each moment. Ever hear someone justify their bad behavior by saying that they’re not hurting anyone but themselves. Imagine that is not true. Imagine that any destructive behavior does impact us all, because we are all interconnected. So, Buddha taught that if this fact is understood, then compassion comes naturally, living a compassionate life is a no-brainer. I love you and care about you because you are me. I can start to widen my sense of my self to include others, to share in their concerns and happiness.

And this change in thinking changes reality as we perceive it. The third Unity Principle proclaims. “My thoughts create my reality”. Although the language that Unity uses may sound self-ish, the purpose is still the same, to live a happier life more in tune with the Eternal Truths. Can you really be happy without being compassionate? I guess that is the question? We study these teachings to help ourselves and in the process, our presence is supporting and encouraging others that are interacting with us. By being a better you, you are better for and to other beings. Unity doesn’t dwell on whether the self exists or not. The teachings assume that we are beings, in fact talks about each of us as a unique manifestation of God, the Source. But Unity teachings do focus on the malleability of this being we call “me”.

Unity teaches us that whatever old notions we have about how we operate, none of it need be forever true. Unity teaches that the old concept you’re hanging onto about who you are and how you are is nothing more than a result of all the years of thoughts about being a certain way. Unity teaches that if you want to be something different, you can change your thoughts to create another experience of life. Unity teaches that we are each divine manifestations of God, The Source. That no matter what we’ve done in our lives, our underlying being-ness is a manifestation of God. If there is only one power and one presence in the Universe, then that must be true.

So Buddhism teaches to deny a separate self, and Unity teaches that the self is malleable. This is a distinction that we can reflect upon and grow spiritually from a deeper understanding. As you go about your daily routines, be aware of how you experience your self. How or if you experience a sense of separation with others. How do you know you’re alive? How tightly are you holding on to this sense of self, holding on to how you see yourself? We can lighten up and not take our self so seriously, since it may not actually exist anyway.

From It's Up to You © 2005 by Dzigar Kongtrül Rinpoche

When we question the self directly, it is exposed for what it is: the absence of everything we believe it to be. We can actually see through this seemingly solid self. But what are we left with then? We are left with an open, intelligent awareness, unfettered by a self to cherish or protect. This is the primordial wisdom mind of all beings. Relaxing into this discovery is true meditation—and true meditation brings ultimate realization and freedom from suffering.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from inicdents, meetings and material assistance, which no man/woman could have dreamt would have come his/her way."

-William Hutchinson Murray, Scottish Mountaineer and writer

Meditation FAQ

The following questions and answers are taken from a talk by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche

What is Meditation?

Meditation is a way to make the mind more stable and clear. From this point of view, meditation is not purely a Buddhist practice; it's a practice that anyone can do. It doesn't tie in with a particular spiritual tradition. If we want to undo confusion, we're going to have to be responsible for learning what our own mind is and how it works, no matter what beliefs we hold.

The word for meditation in Sanskrit is "shamatha" in Sanskrit (Tibetan: shi-ne), which means "peacefully abiding." Peacefully abiding describes the mind as it naturally is. The word "peace" tells the whole story. The human mind is by nature joyous, calm and very clear. In shamatha meditation we aren't creating a peaceful state——we're letting our mind be as it is to begin with.This doesn't mean that we're peacefully ignoring things. It means that the mind is able to be present, without constantly leaving.

In meditation, what we're doing is looking at our experience and at the world intelligently. The Buddha said that this is how we learn to look at any situation and understand its truth. This is what a Buddha does—and we are all capable of being Buddhas, whether or not we are Buddhists. We all have the ability to realize our naturally peaceful minds where there is no confusion. We can use the natural clarity of our mind to focus on anything we want. But first we have to tame our minds through shamatha meditation.

Perhaps we associate meditation with spirituality because when we experience a moment of peacefully abiding, it seems so far-out. Our mind is no longer drifting, thinking about a million things. The sun comes up or a beautiful breeze comes along—and all of a sudden we feel the breeze and we are completely in tune. We think, "That's a very spiritual experience! It's a religious experience! At least worth a poem, or a letter home." Yet all that's happening is that for a moment we are in tune with our mind. Our mind is present and harmonious. Before, we were so busy and bewildered that we didn't even notice the breeze. Our mind couldn't even stay put long enough to watch the sun to come up, which takes two-and-a-half minutes. Now we can keep it in one place long enough to acknowledge and appreciate our surroundings. Now we are really here. In fact, this is ordinary.

This is the not just the point of being Buddhist, it's the point of being human.

Why Meditate?

Meditation is based on the premise that the natural state of the mind is calm and clear. It provides a way to train our mind to settle into this state. Our first reason for meditating might be that we want some freedom from our agitated mind. We want to discover the basic goodness of our natural mind.

To do this requires us first to slow down and experience our mind as it is. In the process, we get to know how our mind works. We see that wherever the mind is abiding—in anger, in desire, in jealousy, or in peace—that is where we also are abiding. We begin to see that we have a choice in the matter: we do not have to act at the whim of every thought. We can abide peacefully. Meditation is a way to slow down and see how our mind works.

The untrained mind is like a wild horse. It runs away when we try to find it, shies when we try to approach it. If we find a way to ride it, it takes off with the bit in its teeth and finally throws us right into the mud. There is potential for communication and rapport between horse and rider, between mind and self, but the horse needs to be trained to be a willing participant in that relationship.

We train our minds with shamatha practice, the most simple form of sitting meditation. Shamatha is a Sanskrit word that means "peacefully abiding." Like all types of meditation, it rests upon two basic principles, known in Tibetan as ngotro and gom. Ngotro refers to "being introduced" to the object of meditation, while gom is "becoming familiar." In shamatha practice, we are introduced to and become familiar with the simple act of breathing. This is our object of concentration, the place we return to again and again when the mind has run off and we find ourselves clutching the horse's neck, hoping we won't end up too far from home.

The untrained mind is weak and inflexible. It lives in a zone of comfort.When the boundaries of that zone are challenged, it reacts by becoming more rigid. In contrast, the trained mind is strong, flexible, and workable. Because it can stretch beyond where it feels comfortable, it's responsive—not reactive—to challenges. Through shamatha we can train our mind to be flexible and tuned in to what's happening now. We can apply this workable mind in all aspects of our lives, including our livelihood, our relationships, and our spiritual path. So another reason to meditate is to develop a strong, supple mind that we can put to work.

How to Get Started

The basic premise of shamatha meditation is "not too tight, not too loose." This holds true in every aspect of the practice—finding the right environment, preparing our body and mind to meditate, holding our posture, noticing thoughts and emotions, and bringing our minds back to the breath. The instructions are very clear and we should follow them as precisely as possible. Gentleness is also necessary, or else meditation becomes a way in which we're trying to measure up against a hopeless ideal. It's important not to expect perfection or get hooked on the finer points of the instruction. The practice takes consistent effort, and it can also be joyful.

One of the simple things that we can do is to create a good environment for practice—a place that is comfortable, quiet, and clean. A corner of your room that feels uplifted and spacious and private is a good enough place. It's unproductive to get caught up in chasing your idea of the perfect place to meditate. Some people from the city will go into the mountains to meditate in peace and find that the crickets and the birds won't shut up!

Timing is also important. Decide on a regular time to practice each day and try to stick with it. A ten-minute period in the morning is a good place to begin.The more consistent you can be in keeping to the routine, the better.

Planning is another element. It's better not to just sit down and hope for the best. If you plop down on your seat straight from the office or right after an argument, you may spend the whole session trying to slow down enough even to remember that you're meditating. If you're agitated, a slow walk might be in order. If you're drowsy, a cool shower before beginning the session might help. It can be inspiring to read a little about meditation first as a reminder of why you're practicing. Working with ourselves in ways like this is intelligent and honest and can create the proper mind and body for good practice. But remember, preparation is not meditation, it is just preparation.

Half of the challenge of meditation is simply getting to your seat.At the beginning of a session you may suddenly discover that you have more important things to do—housework or phonecalls to make or e-mails to write. One way to work with this kind of procrastination is to build a routine around preliminary stretching or walking before your session. This gives you a way to ease into it by softening your body and mind before you begin meditating. The more regularly you practice the better you'll get at working with the strategies that the untrained mind cooks up to keep you from making it to your seat.

Technique of Meditation

Our minds usually jump wildly from thought to thought. We replay the past; we fantasize about the future. In meditation we take an upright posture, place our mind on an object, and keep it there. In shamatha meditation, the object is the simple act of breathing. The breath represents being alive in the immediacy of the moment.

When you sit down, take a balanced, grounded posture to allow the energy in the centre of your body to move freely. If you're on a cushion, sit with your legs loosely crossed. If you're in a chair, keep your legs uncrossed and your feet flat on the floor. Imagine that a string attached to the top of your head is pulling you upright. Let your body settle around your erect spine. Place your hands on your thighs, in a place not so far forward that it begins to pull your shoulders down, nor so far back that the shoulders contract and pinch the spine. The fingers are close and relaxed—not spread out in a grip, as if you can't let yourself go. Tuck your chin in and relax your jaw. The tongue is also relaxed, resting against your upper teeth. Your mouth is ever so slightly open. Your gaze is downward, with the eyelids almost half shut. The eyes aren't looking; the eyes just see. It is the same with sound—we aren't listening, but we do hear. In other words, we're not focusing with our senses.

The basic technique is that we begin to notice our breath. The breath is what we're using as the basis of our mindfulness technique; it brings us back to the moment, back to the present situation.The breath is something that is constant—otherwise it's too late.

Using the breathing as the object of meditation is especially good for calming a busy mind. The steady flow of the breath soothes the mind and allows for steadiness and relaxation. This is ordinary breathing; nothing is exaggerated. One simple technique is to count the in-and out-cycles of breathing from one to twenty-one. We breathe in, and then out—one. In and then out—two. Place your mind on the breathing and count each cycle of breath. You can drop the counting when your mind is settled.

When your focus is wavering, check your posture. Bring yourself back to the upright position. Imagine the string pulling your spine up straight and relax your body around it. Slouching impairs your breathing, which directly affects the mind. If you slump, you'll be struggling with your body at the same time that you're trying to train your mind. What you want to be doing is the opposite: synchronizing your body and mind.

As you focus on the breath, you'll notice that various thoughts and emotions arise. When this happens, acknowledge that you are thinking and return your focus to the breath. In focusing you are bringing yourself back to attention. You are centering yourself in your mind and placing that mind on the breath. You are slowly settling. You're gradually slowing the mind. When you first begin to meditate, the movement of thoughts may feel like a rushing waterfall. But as you continue to apply the technique of recognizing thoughts and returning your focus to the breath, the torrent slows down to a river, then to a meandering stream, which eventually flows into a deep, calm ocean.

Gathering the Mind

How we tame the mind is by using the technique of mindfulness. Quite simply, mindfulness is complete attention to detail. We are completely absorbed in the fabric of life, the fabric of the moment. We realize that our life is made of these moments and that we cannot deal with more than one moment at a time. Even though we have memories of the past and ideas about the future, it is the present situation that we are experiencing.

The practice of mindfulness is the practice of being alive. When we talk about the techniques of meditation, these are techniques of life. Meditation is not about something that is separate from us. We are not trying to get into some kind of higher state of mind. The present situation is completely available, spontaneous and unbiased, and that we can see it that way through the practice of mindfulness.

When we begin to meditate, the first thing we realize is how wild things are-how wild our mind is, how wild our life is. But once we begin to have the quality of being tamed, when we can sit with ourselves, we realize there's a vast wealth of possibility that lies in front of us. Meditation is looking at our own backyard, you could say, looking at what we really have and discovering the richness that already exists.Discovering that richness is a moment-to-moment process, and as we continue to practice our awareness becomes sharper and sharper.

This mindfulness actually envelopes our whole life. It is the best way to appreciate our world, to appreciate the sacredness of everything. We add mindfulness and all of a sudden, the whole situation becomes alive. This practice soaks into everything that we do; there's nothing left out. Mindfulness pervades sound and space. It is a complete experience.

For the movement of the mind to slow down like this takes long, consistent practice. A good practice is one that we keep doing ten minutes a day, year after year. Through ups and through downs, slowly we become familiar with the natural stability, strength, and clarity of the mind. It becomes natural to return to that place. We let go of our conceptual ideas about it. We can relax there and enjoy it. We begin to let this natural state of basic goodness infuse our entire life. Having a mind that is at peace with itself, a mind that is clear and joyous, is the basis of happiness and compassion.

Meditation practice predates Buddhism and all of the world religions. It has lasted through the centuries because it is direct, potent, and effective. If meditation becomes part of your life, please consider seeking further instruction from an experienced meditator. It might also be helpful to become part of a community of practitioners.